Anything Goes (Remastered)

Times have changed
And we've often rewound the clock
Since the Puritans got the shock
When they landed on Plymouth Rock
If today
Any shock they might try to stem
'Stead of landing on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock would land on them

In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking
Now heaven knows
Anything Goes

Good authors too
Who once knew better words
Now only use four letter words
Writing prose
Anything Goes

If driving fast cars you like
If low bars you like
If old hymns you like
If bare limbs you like
If Mae West you like
Or me undressed you like
Why nobody will oppose

When every night
The set that's smart
Is intruding on nudist parties
In studios
Anything Goes

When Missus Ned McLean, God bless her
Can get Russian Reds to yes her
Then I suppose
Anything Goes

When Rockafeller still can hoard
Enough money to let Max Gordon
Produce his shows
Anything Goes

The world has gone mad today
And good's bad today
And black's white today
And day's night today
And that gent today
You gave a cent today
Once had several Chateaus

When folks
Who still can ride in Jitneys
Find out Vanderbilts and Whitneys
Lack baby clothes
Anything Goes

When Sam Goldwyn
Can with great conviction
Instruct Anna Sten in diction
Than Anna shows
Anything Goes

When you hear that
Lady Mendl standing up
Now does a handspring landing up
On her toes
Anything Goes

Just think of those shocks you've got
And those knocks you've got
And those blues you've got
From those news you've got
And those pains you've got
(If any brains you've got)
From those little radios

So Mrs. R
With all her trimmin's
Can broadcast a bed from Simmon's
Cause Franklin knows
Anything Goes