Текст песни Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky - Epic Rap Battles of History

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
TONY HAWK!
VS!
WAYNE GRETZKY!
BEGIN!

I can skate better than this church boy turd can
Not Cash Money, it's just Wayne vs Birdman
You got your whole league to protect and adore you
So which goon's gonna take this battle for you? (oooh)
I'm a dude who blew up extreme sports
That nose looks like it's seen extreme snorts
I mean look at that thing! That slope is gigantic
Even I wouldn't fly off a ramp that titanic!
All that ice underneath you will be melted into water
When I hit you with a trick that's even hotter than your daughter
You're old and you're basic, your talent is fading
And Oiler alert: You're about to get traded!
I drop rhymes like I'm dropping into a half-pipe
I'll thrash this asswipe, hit ya like a hash pipe (ugh)
Keep your mittens on, Gretzky, you're too clean
I got this covered like gravy on poutine

That verse was rough. Damn Tony!
So let me smooth it out like I'm a damn Zamboni (eyy)
I'm the greatest ever when I play, Hockey!
But on the microphone I don't 'play', Hawkey!
This is a street fight, T-Hawk. Show some respect
If you don't then you'll get a slap shot to the deck!
And I take a Flyer down, bird, you're getting wrecked!
So you best prepare for arrival and cross check!
Hey, let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth
Double what you bank in bucks, check my net worth!
And my hot wife. The only woman in the world for Wayne
You're on your fourth wife, talk about the X-Games
There was one big trick that you ever did
That you got out-spun by a 12-year old kid!
Oh, you like finger flips? How 'bout one of these
Sit on this and rotate 900 degrees

Great one, Wayne! Let me say something, Wayne
I got 99 problems, and you ain't one Wayne
You'll catch a pop-shove it to the mullet if you tempt me!
Your threats are like my swimming pools bruh, empty!

Let's skip the kickflips and McTwists
You'll be speechless after 3 periods like an ellipsis
This goofy-footed geek straight getting smoked
Got you down on your knee-pads, sorry bout the deke joke

You should hit the buzzer cause it's time to change lines
You put that joke in a top shelf of lame rhymes!
This ain't typical sports, I use centripetal force
While you prance around in four-pound icy diaper shorts
I try to watch you on TV, but I can't see the puck
Hockey used to have guts, but now the teams Mighty Suck!
I taught kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do
Put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes

Time out! Let's talk about athletic achievements
You and I have so many world records between us
184! And that's plenty of them
And I set 183 of them!
I'm disputed and refuted! G-O-A-T!
You've been going downhill since Pro Skater 3! (oooh)
Too far ahead for you to catch up
For true sports fans, this was finished as soon they heard the matchup!

WHO WON? (who won?)
WHO'S NEXT? (who's next?)
YOU DECIDE! (you decide)
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
(Epic rap battles of history)