Friendly Duet

"No romance," said Juliet, "I haven't left school yet!
We're friends, just friends."
Said Samson, "Delilah, she's my hair styler!
We're friends, just friends."
Said Mrs Fitzherbert: "My friend is Prince Regent;
I swore every slur but one must be obedient!"
"Who's Abelard?" said Heloise, "He's not my fellow, he's a friend,
Just a friend."
Said Hero and Leander: "It's nothing but slander!
We're chums, just chums."
Said Troillus and Cressida: "Don't-a believe-a da press-ida!
We're friends."
When they whispered: "Napoleon pays Josephine's rent!"
"Nonsense!" said Buonaparte, "She lives on her own, apart,
In her own apartment."
Said Orpheus and Eurydice ...
(But that's all sub judicae!)
So guard against gossip, and take every care
Lest some blameless escutcheon you blot;
Such models of friendship are precious and rare
Though the friendship of models is not!