Текст песни Mudd Club - Live At Mudd Club, NYC, May 8, 1980 - Frank Zappa

Alright now bring the band on down behind me, boys
We gotta make sure they hear the words to this song
(Hey) Now wait a minute, not yet, lemma tell ya
The name of this song is "The Mudd Club"
This is a song about the place in which you are now standing
Based on real events that actually took place here
Performed by real denizens of the area
Some of whom may be in the audience tonight although we can't be sure

Hey, they're really dancin', they're on auto-destruct
On the floor, on the pipe, bouncin' off-a the wall
Hey, the people here are really tearin' it up
On the side, in the back, by the front of the stage
They ain't really crazy, you can take it from me
I should know 'cause I go every time I'm in town
If you never tried it lemme straighten you out
It's the best kinda place to unfasten yerself (Mudd Club)

There ain't no sign in the front (Mudd Club)
There ain't no sign in the back (Mudd Club)
Now people, if you don't go
Then you won't know about the show on the floor

Do you know what I'm talking about?
Have you ever been down here in the early hours?
When its pretty empty and you see these people
Well you see these people, you know those poles out there?
I saw a guy run at that pole and stick to it for five minutes
I tried it this afternoon when we came in here and its very hard to do

Mudd Club, is all the way downtown
The Mudd Club, they ain't messin' around
Just turn to the left and look around
It's there somewhere
If you ain't found it, better hurry up
'Cause the folks down there is on auto-destruct
And so can you be too
The fact of the matter, it's made for you
Try it on a Saturday about four o'clock in the morning
Or even on a Monday at midnight
When there's just a few of them fabulous poodles
Doing the Peppermint Twist for real
In a black sack dress with nine inch heels
And then a guy with a blue mohawk comes in
The bass player from the Plasmatics
In serious leather at the Mudd Club
Al Malkin is here right now, ladies and gentlemen
Looking for a virgin with nice breath

Now I told him earlier that we were gonna raffle him off
Where is he? Where? He's over there
Ladies and gentlemen, the pudgy guy with the curly hair
Making a fool of himself against the wall
This is a guy that's looking for a virgin with nice breath
It doesn't matter whether you're a guy or a gal
He's all yours if you have nice breath
And never did it before with anything other than furniture
Might be you, what are you talking about?

Hey, they're really dancin', they're on auto-destruct
On the floor, on the pipe, bouncin' off-a the wall
Hey, the people here are really tearin' it up
On the side, in the back, by the front of the stage
They ain't really crazy, you can take it from me
I should know 'cause I go every time I'm in town
If you never tried it lemme straighten you out
It's the best kinda place to unfasten yerself