Three Little Pigs

Why don't you sit right back?
And I, I may tell you a tale
A tale of three little pigs
And a big
Bad
Wolf

Well, the first little piggy, well, he was kinda hick
He spent most of his days just a dreamin' of the city

And then one day, he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood to become a star
But living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city
Built his house out of straw, what a pity

And then one day, jammin' on some chords
Along came the wolf, knocking on his door
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Well, the second little piggy, well, he was kinda stoked
He spent most of his day just in ganja smokin'

Huffin' and a puffin' down on Venice Beach
Getting paid money for religious speech
He built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks

Then one day he was cranking out Bob Marley
And along came the wolf on his big, bad Harley
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Well, the third little piggy, the grade A student
His daddy was a rock star named Pig Nugent

Earned his Masters Degree from Harvard College
Built his house from his architect knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills
Daddy's rock stardom, paid for the bills

And then one day came the old house smasher
The big, bad wolf, the little piggy slasher
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Well, the big bad wolf
Well, he huffed and he puffed, all that he could
And low and behold the little piggy's house stood

"It's made out of concrete", the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned, as he pouted
So, they called nine-eleven, like any piggy would
They sent out Rambo just as fast as they could

Yo, wolf-face, I'm your worst nightmare
Your ass is mine
Well, the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see
So, that's to end the story for you and me
If you still give a listen, you just may
Hear a big wolf or little piggy say
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in
And the moral of the story is
A band with no talent can easily amuse
Idiots with a stupid, puppet show