99%

Where's the part when someone jumps
Out and and tells me I'm asleep?
Where's the part that takes a turn
And twists inward unexpectedly?
Where's the part where I'm convinced
That I'm hated by my friends?
Where's the part that fucks me up
And makes me feel the missing parts again?

I don't deserve to feel this comfortable in my own skin
I'm 99% convinced this isn't real
Is this even real?

Why did I keep holding on
Like my life was in your hands?
It's impossible for me
To ever fully understand
Something tells me there's a chance
I've made it through the other end
I can feel myself return
From the shape that I was wrapped around and bent

If I said that I've looked back, then I'd be lying
Firmly press my shaking hands against my ears
If I said I felt alive, I felt like dying
I feel like myself for the first time, the first time in years
Where's that part that I forget
Every fucked up little thing
That made me feel like 1%
Just the smallest part of me?

I don't deserve to feel this comfortable in my own skin
I'm 99% convinced this isn't real
Is this even real?
Is this even real?