Текст песни Penance - Holding Absence

I watch the clock hands go by, time after time
I dream of leaving this place
If I could leave the past behind then I would just fade away... Cease to exist
It would cleanse all my pain
It's a shame that I ever lived
The devil on my shoulder whispers to me, and dribbles such a never ending cacophony into my ears, to blind the joy that tries to reach out to me
Such a dulcet suffering, why can't anyone see?
Penance - A lesson in misery
You will study my rise as you watched my fall
I wrote my love in the cracks of the cracks of the wall
You'll read that "dying in vain was as good as it looked" in a forget-me-not written in the spine of a book
I wasted my time falling in love with the thought of falling in love with someone
Am I killing time, or killing myself? I think I'm killing myself, sometimes
Penance - A lesson in misery
You will study my rise as you watched my fall
I wrote my love in the cracks of the cracks of the wall
You'll read that "dying in vain was as good as it looked" in a forget-me-not written in the spine of a book
I could never grow trees
Still, I planted my seeds
Sadly, you will see, eternal sunshine won't blossom me
I am enough to feel happiness and love
It's hard to say out loud, "I deserve to be happy now"
I deserve to be happy now