Текст песни I'm Not Gay - J Pee

JPee baby, uh, uh, uh, yup, yup (yeah)
You know who it is
Check this shit out, man
Check it out, check it out, here we go
Check it out, yeah
Chillin′ with my homies at the Home Depot
Buyin' screws and nails, manly shit ya know?
My homie says to me, "What kind of drill you want?"
So I said "I wanted one right in the ass"
..."What?"
I′m not gay
I'm not gay
It was a joke guys, come on
I'm not gay
I like vag more than a pornstar scandal
But can I get the drill with the bright pink handle?
Playin′ tackle football with my homies in the park
Had to wrap it up ′cause it was gettin' dark
The other team was lookin′ straight scary as shit (Ooooo)
But my quarterback, he ain't havin′ none of it (He ain't scared)
He looked at me and told me no matter where I was at
My priority job was to protect the sack (Okay!)
So 4th down, he bends over and yells "Hike!"
So I went and grabbed his balls
..."Huh?"
I′m not gay
I'm not gay
I'm just doin′ my job, step off!
I′m not gay
It's not like I was purposefully tryin′ to feel them (I wasn't)
I just care about the safety of your future children (Godfather)
I′m not gay
I'm not gay
Quit tellin′ me that, man!
I'm not gay
Next time I'll just let your balls get mangled, son!
P.S. - I didn′t know that you were so well hung
Strollin′ with my homies in West Hollywood (Hollywood)
Wasn't my idea because I′m not gay
Dude walks by me with his shirt off and I was like, "Damn bitch you fine!"
..."Fuck..."
I'm not gay, guys, that ain′t me
I'm just comfortable with my sexuality
So I can admit when I see a guy
Who has a handsome face, and pretty eyes...
And a rock hard chest, and ripplin′ abs... (Yeahhh)
And the tightest ass, and those sculpted calves...
And those bulging quads, and the perfect bod...
And oh, my God, take your pants off
...Uhhh...
"Fuck it!"
I'm so gay
I'm fuckin′ gay
I′m the dude wearin' nail polish yellin′, "Heyyyy"
I'm the dude at the party who′ll grab your butt (That's me)
And when you turn around and look at me, I′ll be like "What?"
Yeah!
I'm gay (I'm gay)
I′m hella gay
I watch Zac Efron movies every Saturday
And normal self-expression doesn′t suit me, either
That's why my degree is in musical theater
I′m so gay, man