Текст песни ⅃ɘɘbƨ 23 - Jestamang

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry
I'm bragging about being fucking insane
But wait, I can unplug the phone charger
Let's just take a breath
Let's just take a breather
How are you doing dude

(Good)

This is like
So different from the last psych ward so
This one is voluntary right
So I can literally leave and go like do cartwheels and like
Fuck around to like my fucking emo metal shit

Ah god it's so weird
They finally put me back on my meds so
I'm finally in a psych ward
But they like let me have a safe dose of Adderall at the same time
So I'm not like on some weird shit
That just makes me numb

(Yeah)

You get me

(Yeah)

No it's, no it's strange I swear to God like
This is the next step
Like this is like some big shit actually happening like
I'm gonna get signed to a record label
And I know it sounds fucking stupid
I know, that's the point
I have to let go of my ego like completely
Like my family has seen this shit like what the fuck
And it's not because I'm faking it
It's because I've literally been in that much pain

(I'm listening)

No, no no no this is like
The Murakami
The Infinite Jest

No this is actually some like
God okay like
I don't want the doctors to hear this but like literally
Some like Pagan God shit
There is some actual shit happening right now
And like, I swear to Christ

Logically
Logically
Logically

Like I know I can't prove it
Because of the social media curse
That stops my best fucking music
From like being on social media but like I swear to God
That's an actual thing

But I've been like playing music for the other patients
Yo, these people are like
Like I'm kinda like

Low key
Low key
Low key become a celebrity in here
Like it's gonna take a while but it's gonna happen

No like high key it's gonna happen
It's already happening

Like I made a stupid story about
Making fun of you about how
I'm not gonna sign to your record label
Cause I'm gonna get like an actual industry record label soon
Like I'm gonna get a record deal it's just gonna happen
Like

(Um)
No I swear

I know I sound just fucking out of my mind
But we have to be at this point
Bro

Like are we gonna like change the world or not
Like I'm being fully serious
I have been asleep
I have not been up for nights

Safe doses of both the anti-depressants
And the fucking amphetamine shit
Like safe doses

I wasn't even on them
Like yesterday, all day
And I was still without any amphetamines or Adderall
Improvising my like
Y'know my thoughts turn into music shit
With no drugs whatsoever
Completely sober

(Mmm)

You understand that if that's true
That means that I'm moving in the right direction
That's like my fucking golden compass shit

(Mhm)
You understand that right
(Mhm)

That if the music is coming out when I'm sober
That the golden compass is like
Yo, you're in the right place
You're doing the right thing

(Mhm)

No but do you understand how fucking weird this is
Like are you reading the shit I'm writing

(Um, yeah just read it today)

It's weird isn't it
But like it's funny
Like it's funny right

(Yeah it's hilarious)

Good thank you that's the point
But at the same time
I'm not like doing it on purpose
I'm literally like in the zone
Like the Kenny Werner I am a master at music or some shit
But like in terms of like everything

Like
Like here's the thing
I know it's been really weird
But I've got like no embarrassment

I've got like
Yeah, sometimes I get Vibed
I still get Vibed
I have to like meditate
And stop the fucking chaos in my mind

(Mmm)

But
But here's the thing
I can Unvibe myself
I can get rid of like the fucking
Incel Messiah fucking Kahvi witch curse
Like that's an actual thing
You get that right

(Mhm)

You get that Kahvi dancing in pig's blood like actually fucking
Did some weird fucking like curse shit to all of us

No no no
I'm being completely fucking serious
I've like
I know I just went for an emotional breakdown
But this isn't the kind where like
Ah fuck I hate that I'm here
I'm Joker laughing

Like, I'm doing the fucking Joker laugh thing

(Mhm, mmm)

No like I'm
I'm literally like Radiohead, In Rainbows
I'm the next act

No
This is fucking weird as shit
Like honestly this is not
Like just me being crazy this time

It never was really
You saw me like when I had my first like
Holy shit, what the fuck is going on
And I show up at Caleb's house and like
Yo, is he gonna punch me or not
You remember that stupid shit

And I'm talking about Ivan like yo
He wants to fucking kill homeless people
Fuck him
Do you know how much fucking anger I have inside me

(Mhm)

No like I never gave a shit
Like everyone's like yo
You're hanging out with Kahvi as a friend but you're not fucking her
And I let their dumb chimp insecurity get into my head
That made me think that I actually
Gave a shit about having sex with her
Well I mean like, she's very hot but

The insecurity part is like
Yo, I just liked hanging out with her as a friend
And because you guys like
Got in my fucking head and I didn't fucking
Like actually fucking scream at you fucking chimps
Like I'm sorry
Sorry

It's not a race thing
You're all white
Except for Khalil
Does he count as part of like our
Weird fuck shit

(Wait, who's not white)

Khalil
Does he count as part of our weird fuck shit

(I don't think he counts)
(He's been around like three times)

No dude, do you understand this is how I actually think
Like I'm getting all of you guys
I'm gonna bring you to England
We're gonna do some weird shit

(I'm down)

Do you
I know it's weird but I swear
Like I've been seeing like

(If you pull it off, yeah)

If I pull it off
But here's the thing
I didn't plan this shit
Like I'm in the zone
I'm not planning any of this

Like if somehow
Like I was on acid like
This just happened and I was chosen as the one
Who like started this shit like
I don't fucking know
But here's the weird part
Here's the weird part about all of it

I'm like
Multiple things at the same time
So it's like I'm
It's not multiple personality disorder
I just feel two emotions at once
You get that

(No, not really)

No, I'm literally crying and laughing at the same time
Like not like actually

(Oh)

So it's like when I was on acid
The fucking Kahvi three way with Caleb thing
It's like yo
This is terrible
I feel really bad

But it's kind of really cool like knowing that she's gonna fuck Caleb
And just kind of like being here and feeling how terrible it is

(Um)

You get that I'm like that like that
O, I hate getting Cucked
But I also kind of like getting Cucked

(Um)
(I don't know, I wouldn't wanna be Cucked)

No, but do you understand like
I've never truly understood what the fuck I am
And like it's actually something fucking weird

(Mmm, mhm)

No it's like
No like I'm like actually super autistic
I've actually just been like creating like
Personality folders in my hard drive

I'm around Jenny for two seconds
You were a fucking asshole to fucking Jenny
I'm around you for two seconds it's like
Yo Jenny, like you're being stupid
You get that
Like I literally don't control it

(Mmm)

It's so fucking weird
Like literally my personality changes
Depending on who I'm fucking with
And you know Kahvi and Katie
You know what pisses me off about them

They lie about like the fact
That they were good friends with me
Because I'm not cool
Like do you get that

(Mmm)

They literally like
Yo, I know my memories
Kahvi and Katie
Literal bad people

Kahvi's better
Kahvi's not as bad
She's actually pretty cool

Like I've been sending her the most fucked shit
And Katie the most fucked shit
And like
Like literally I

This morning I wake up and I'm like yo Katie
Yo please, no restraining order please
And then I started crying
Like just literally I cannot stop crying
I fall on the floor
Like the people here are like what's going on

And I can't help it I send her another E-Mail
It's no longer this scary like
The scary shit
The psychopath shit
It's now like

Yo, I can not stop crying Katie
I know I said I wouldn't because I'm scared of a restraining order
But I literally cannot stop crying

You know what you did Katie
You hooked up with me

Like a really like fucking traumatized autistic guy
And you know what you did
You know what you fucking did

You expect me to read your social cues
Instead of telling me that you changed your mind
Invited me and Duncan to come to your apartment
Without telling me you changed your mind
I put my head on your feet
You kicked me

Like you understand like how fucked that is
That she did that

(Mhm, mmm)

You understand Katie literally fucking abused me
Kahvi not as much cause she like
Kahvi not really

A little bit
A little bit
A little bit

But Kahvi's fucked
And I know that Kahvi has a good reason to be fucked
But Katie's just evil
Like she's like an actual abuser towards men

(Mmm)

She's just that
No, she's like literally like the feminist like
Ooo, I can't be bad I'm a woman
Like do you get that she's that

(Mmm, mhm)

Yeah, you get that Katie's like
Have you seen
Like her, the way she changes her aesthetic
And she's literally become like the

Fucking colored hair like SJW like stereotype
Like can you see that

(Mmm)

Isn't that fucking weird

(Mmm, it's pretty normal)

It must be
No no but it's like she subconsciously knows
She's full of fucking shit

(Yeah)

It's so weird

No it's so weird
You get that there's like
Weird shit going on with our friend group
And it's not just like me being psychotic
You see that

You've always seen it
Like I'm not gonna ever fucking do acid again
Cause holy shit, I'm on some other shit

No, like I am so fucking autistic
No, like no actually I just like
I'm one of those like super autistic people
That it's like, oh wow
Holy shit

I hear your voice
I'm getting fucking goosebumps like literally
I think of like fucking like

Katie or
Kahvi or
Hannah or
Dahlia

There was a dahlia flower in the garden
In the fucking garden of the psych ward
And I started getting hard
From the fucking dahlia flower