Boyhood

It's too late to waste my youth
That's been gone, I don't get two
Now I look around at all I took for granted
Don't let me grow spiteful in old age
I'm too precious in how I locate
All the anger I've kept fed and distracted

The buzz of trying won't thrill me anymore
Still looking on the bathroom floor
For things I left there at sixteen
Maybe they don't mean anything
The faithless don't worry me anymore
What made me a centerpiece is now decor
I've made my bed to live in
I hope you will visit

It's too late to apologize
To look in my mothers eyes
And hold the girl who had to carry her mother
I've grown eager to grow old
Yet I grieve the boy I'm told
Couldn't shut up
Couldn't see the world for its colors

The buzz of trying won't thrill me anymore
Still looking on the bathroom floor
For things I left there at sixteen
Maybe I won't be everything
The faithless don't worry me anymore
What made me a centerpiece is now decor
I've made my bed to live in
I'll see you when you visit

I'll take my grandmothers last smile with me
The last of the light in my grandfathers eyes
The baby of a broken family
The witness to catalyze
How women shaped this man
The greatest wisdom in holding their hand
Through pipe dreams
That might seem most futile to some
I'm not looking for power
But a way to love where I came from