Текст песни Can I Interest You In Hannukah? - Jon Stewart feat. Stephen Colbert

Can I interest you in Hanukkah?
Maybe something in a Festival of Lights
It's a sensible alternative to Christmas
And it lasts for seven--for you--eight nights

Hanukkah, huh?
I've never really thought about it

Well' you could do worse

Is it merry?

It's kind of merry

Is it cheery?

It's got some cheer

Is it jolly?

Look' I wouldn't know from jolly
But it's not my least unfavorite time of year

When's it start?

The 25th

Of December?

Kislev

Which is when exactly?

I will check

Are there presents?

Yes' indeed, 8 days of presents
Which means one nice one, then a week of dreck

Does Hanukkah commemorate
Events profound and holy?
A king who came to save the world?

No' oil that burned quite slowly

Well, it sounds fantastic!

There's more!

We have latkes

What are they?

Potato pancakes

We have dreidels

What are they?

Wooden tops

We have candles

What are-

THEY ARE CANDLES!
And when we light them
Oh the fun it never stops

What do you say, Stephen
Do you want to give Hanukkah a try?

I'm trying to see me as a Jew
I'm trying even harder
But I believe in Jesus Christ
So it's a real non-starter

I can't interest you in Hanukkah?
Just a little bit?

No thanks' I'll pass
I'll keep Jesus
You keep your potato pancakes
But I hope that you enjoy 'em
On behalf of all the goyim

Be sure to tell the Pontiff
My people say Good Yontif

That's exactly what I'll do

Happy holidays, you

Too!

Jew!

Too?