I Must Stop Going To Parties

I must stop going to parties
I think they're doing me in
My hair is falling out
And I'm getting kind of thin
I must stop going to parties
Of that there is no doubt
Next time you see me there
Will you kindly throw me out
I must stop going to parties and hanging about

For instance take last Friday when Terry came to tea
I thought I'd had enough to drink but not enough for me
He said would I like to accompany him to a place just over the hill
I said I really shouldn't but perhaps I think I will

You see the same old faces, you see it all every fall
You're gonna get so wasted you won't be able to walk out the door
Then some comes on heavy about that war in what's name
I said I think you're out of date mate
Shouldn't that be a really odd place

All the punches have all been drunk
And the drunks have all been punched
The Magistrate's irate
And the doctor here is after lunch
I don't know why I came here but I'm, I'm, I'm such a weak-kneed creep
I must stop going to parties you see
I gotta get some sleep
Excuse me
Yeah, Terry here, wanna come to my party?
Oh no

I must stop going to parties and hanging about
I must stop going to parties and hanging about
I must stop going to parties and hanging about
I must stop going to parties and hanging about