Текст песни Congo (skit) - MC Chris

Congo-
-KyleXY/KotA/Darth Kyle: Hello! And welcome to The Rebellion. This is, uh, KyleXY. My new name is, uh Kyle of the Apocalypse We're uh in a tent tonight. We're-
-The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
-Basementsafe/WiR/Greedo1997:
This is uh, I was Greedo 1997, I was also Basemensafe, but uh, I decided to change- my new name is now McCormick Rd.
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
-Jackie the Hut/Resident Stevil... Mr. Chandler: Hi, uhm Jackie the Hut, aand Roland of Sciliad- my new Car related nickname: The EnGINA Monologues, may the Force be with you.
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
-Jimmy "The Zombie" Stewart/Jimmy ...etc. Stewart: Hey, Jimmy Stewart here. May the Force be with you.
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
Kyle: No, you hafta tellus your new nickname, May the Force be with you.
JS: Oh, uhhhh, Jimmy Stewart, uh, The Car.
*Beat*
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you. (half-heartedly, begrudgingly, even)
-Hey! Umm this is IG-89, Then I was, uh, The First Mimzy, then I was, Sawyer's Gunstache, and since Lost[thegame] is over, uh - I changed my name to The Walking Fred, I'm the Walk- I'm.no?
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you. (hesitantly, then over, reassuringly)
Kyle: It's good. It's good. It's good.
TWF: Damnit! No! It's not, it sucks! Sucks!
Kyle and I think JS and TEM possibly DoD: It's good (several more times
Kyle: it's good, "Walking Dead"'s a good show its good!
TWD: it's too easy, it's too OBvious!
Darth *Ksh~Hcoh*Gracie/ Darth of the Dead/DoD: Hey what's up guys? Good to see you all, it's been a while. I used to be Darth Dudeicle, I used to be Doodoocull Gracie. Uh, I know I haven't seen am everyone for a while, I had an unfortunate stretch where I became a Juggalo, now I'm back. Dooticle of Doom, like the Legion of Doom, from the WWF, also known as The Road Warriors. Road Warrior, May the Force be with you.
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
Mr. Killian: So, wait, it's Road Warrior? Or Duducle of Doom?
DoD: Doodickle of Doom.
The EnGINA Monologues: Ok, May the Force be with you.
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
DoD: May the Force be with you too. May the Force be with you too.
Mc peepants: Well we're all really excited about Race Wars, (The Rebellion start laughing at the ridiculous understatedness of their excitement for Race Wars... obviously:) we're first In line May the Force be with you.
Kyle: We just wanna, go around the tent and explain uh what your were excited about uh Race Wars. May the Force be with you.
McCormick Rode: Uh I'm excited, cause I heard there's gonna be like this really cool like uh, Sting at the end, tha-alluding to maybe, the later movies-
-1st Mimzy: Hey don't- No Spoilers, Man! What are you talkin' about? No Spoilers, dude!
-The rebellion chimes in aggressively.
When in Romero: I don't even know what's going on!
Kyle: none of us do! And we wanna keep it that way!
IG-89: I don't wanna know anything, that happens!
Basementsafe: But saying there's a sting is not a spoiler!
Sawyer's Gunstache: Yes, it IS!
Mc chris: we don't know if it's gonna be a strong end or a weak one, we don't know these things.
-(Pauly Shore?) DoD/Darth of the Dead: now people who weren't necessarily dedicated enough to sit through the credits, might do it, cause of you!
-The Walking Fred: Yeah now we gotta share that with somebody, now, everybody knows.
-Kyle: yeah, you can forget about it bein' insider information, man.
McCormick Rd.: But, I thought you said, "what are you excited about", and, I said,"the Sting, that might be at the en-
Tony K: Stop Talkin' about it!
DoD: I don't want to talk about this any more.
Basement Safe: Wha-Whyareyou- I'm just saying, it's g-wha why, you weren't excited about the sting? At the end?
Virgil the Poet: I wait through EVERY movie til the end to see if there's a sting but I don't want to know if there is one.
McCormick Road: But there's not a sting at ending-at the end of every movie. There's not gonna be a sting at-
TWF: any good one there is. And that's how you know, when you leave the theater if you saw a good movie or a bad movie!
Rocko: There's no sting at the end of " Bowling For-
Darth of the Dead: Keep talkin! Keep Talkin!
Kyle of the Apocolypse: just Chill out, May the FORCE be with you.
Arguers: May the Force be with you.
TEM: Hi, this is the Engina Monologues, May the Force be with you.
The Rebellion: May the Force be with you.
TEM: I'm really excited because, I heard there's um actually a number of graphic rape scenes in the movie,
Kyle: where did you here thisMay the Force be with you?
Others: yeah?
Jackie the Hut: I heard it in
The Walking Fred: yeah again, I didn't want to hear another spoiler!
Kyle: I didn't know that's where you got your information...
NO SPOILERS!
I'm sorry! Im sorry! I just- every time I hear about a graphic rape. It helps me think about, my ex-wife being-
* Sounds of general dissent and weariness of the topic*
Oh goddammit
You don't have to tell me what it's like
Etc. May the Force be with you.
Resident Stevil (continuing, as if uninterrupted): being ravaged by BaBoons, I have this fantasy where she's on safari, in the Congo, [right] and these like, missing link baboon creatures just, set upon her-
Rocko: Like in the movie "Congo"? ;)
Mr. Chandler: What?!
IG-89: does that happen in the movie "Congo"?!
Kyle: did you spoil "Congo"?...Don't Spoil "Congo" for everybody!
DoD: I got it in my Netflix Queue.
When in Romero: keh* You haven't seen Congo, yet?
Ok, from here it gets murky and overlapping, but-
Kyle: no I haven- hey! I thought, oh they're starting to move some people, they're movin' some people, I can't get the zipper open! I can't get the zipper open! I can't open the zipperrhh! Ow, ow ow! oW OOw ...right on my neck! Stepping right on my neck!
Pretty much everyone else says: the line is moving! The line is moving! Open the Tent! Open the zipper!
Mc chris's Biological father: the line is trampling us.