Divorce Me C.O.D.

I just bought me a great long ticket
I'm gonna use it at 4 p.m.
So you can call your secret love and tell the news to him

You thought your little romance was on the strict Q.T
If you want your freedom P.D.Q, divorce me C.O.D.

I won't be around to hear you cry
I'm Texas-bound, and by and by
You can reach me down in Dallas
A general delivery
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q, divorce me C.O.D.

Now there's gonna come a day, girl, when you'll be feeling blue
You're gonna find that you can't pay your bills
With a little old I.O.U
This dynamite you're messing with, may be T.N.T
So if you want your freedom P.D.Q, divorce me C.O.D.

When the winter comes, I hope you freeze
While I play my tune playing around in my BVDs
I ain't no college professor, I ain't got no P.H.D
But if you want your freedom P.D.Q, divorce me C.O.D.