Endless Roll

My life is being measured by this endless roll
This endless roll
My life is being measured by this endless roll
This endless roll
This roll of terrible bags
Two hundred terrible bags
These bags infuriate me to no end
To no end

Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless
Roll

Kirkland Signature
Your drawstrings don't work
Kirkland Signature
Are they decorative?
Are they decorative?
How much more can I endure?
Or should I cut my losses?
How much more can I endure?
Or should I just cut my losses?

Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless
Roll

Ignoring the drawstring and tying a knot
At the top of the bag that I wish I hadn't bought
When it's all over, the two hundred are gone
I'm gonna throw a party on my front lawn

And when the party is over, I'll discard the trash
Put it into a brand that deserves my cash
Deserves my cash
And when the party's all over, I'll discard the trash
Put it into a brand that deserves my cash
Deserves my cash

My life is being measured by this endless roll
This endless roll
My life is being measured by this endless roll
This endless roll

These bags infuriate me to no end
To no end
These bags infuriate me to no end
To no end

Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll
Endless roll

Your drawstrings just don't work at all
I had other drawstring bags before
So I know how they're supposed to work
These bags function as though the design of drawstrings
On trash bags were merely decorative
And not actually expected to shrink
And eventually close the opening of a bag of trash
When I take out the trash, I now find myself
Tying a knot at the top of the bag
Ignoring the drawstring feature altogether
To save myself the irritation of trying, and boy have I tried
I remain incredulous that the strings are there
Supposed to work, so I've tried so many times
Thinking the last time it failed so spectacularly
It must've been a mistake, of god
No! It's all two hundred
All two hundred of these bags are shit