State of My Mind

I'm feeling so distant
I don't fit in with anybody else
I sit alone in the halls
Wishing this girl will hear my calls
Wishing this girl will hear my calls
Losing friends left and right
Said I changed
Wouldn't tell me how
Wouldn't tell me why
Didn't even try
Kept me down
Pushed me aside
Said I'll never live right
Junkie living off his aunts free life
Be surprised if I made it past twenty five

I took it hard
It kept me down
Will I always be around
Is he right
Am I a waste of life
Will it ever be nice
Trying or I'm dying
Dying is what I see
That's the future for me
No one ever believed
Including me

Loneliest reality
So forgettable
Be be forgot
So lonely I forgot about me
Feelings went numb
Smiles couldn't come
Depressions all the fun
Vampire dodging sun
Suicide on the run
In my mind
Looking for a gun
Kill these thoughts
Send em beyond
Make them begone
Wanna right my wrongs

Anything it takes
Achieve my dreams
Make the haters scream
Parties not for me
Until I'm on the screen
Fucking those
Who doubted me
Said I changed
Was for the better
Now they're in nether
Two legged pigs
Flocking together
Hate as one
Sorry can't put you on
Feelings are gone
No right to your wrongs

Back on my dreams
Found the girl for me
Getting praised
For how I spend my days
Always there
Always cares
Never overshares
Part of my plans I swear
My very own care bear
Kisses and cuddles
Never in puddles
Not in my cards
Better friends
Girl by my side
Remember when I didn't think I'd make it past twenty five

Remember when I didn't wanna make it past twenty five
Every night
Waiting for the day
I had my goodbyes in a notes page
Couldn't be healed by sage
Feeling worthless
I wanted to close the curtain
Shows over
Hero didn't end up in a range rover
Didn't get a four leaf clover
Unluckiness and never sober
Distant from his peers
Thrived for the cheers
Unlovable it's clear
Didn't know where to steer
Crashes every year
Thought things never change
But here we are
The future doesn't seem so hard
Coming up it's coming soon
Twenty in a couple yards
Thirty means I'm going far
Forty I'm a rockstar
Fifty still loving hard
Sixty Shrooming gently
After that I'll go where the world takes me

Don't wanna be distant
On a mission
Love this girl
Killing the opposition
You know what I'm wishing
Life with you sounds bitching
Positive
Look up the definition
Replay this rendition
You adore me
Loving you
My shorty
I get high
You drink the forty
Never ignore me
Rooting for me
In the comments
Every story
I see you
And all your glory
Powerful like Carrie
You got me staring
Beam of light
In my sights
Never left
Always right
Hug you tight
I Promise I don't bite
Roses every single night
Oh you shine
Oh so bright
Reading everything I write
I hope you see what you like
I wonder what's your type
I wonder
I wonder