Текст песни Doctor, Doctor (Have Mercy On Me) - Ray Stevens

Doctor doctor, have mercy on me (Have mercy)
Doctor, your cure is worse than my disease
You doctors, you get all the breaks
You get to bury your mistakes!
Doctor, have mercy on me

Well, the cruelest thing that was ever invented
Came out of a mind that was truly demented
It's a little old thing they call the 'proctoscope'
I said, "A little old thing, that ain't exactly right."
'Cause it's a three-foot piece of galvanized pipe!
Make a sedentary middle-aged man out-jump an antelope

Heaven knows what goes on in their minds
Why, some of those doctors think they're divine
'Bout one half-step down from the man upstairs
They can't walk on water or part the sea
But I had one that separated me from my gall bladder
And every penny of money I made for the last six years!

Doctor doctor, have mercy on me (Have mercy)
Doctor, your cure is worse than my disease
The practice of medicine is a must
But must you always practice on us?
Doctor, have mercy on me

They make you wait in their office for hours on end
While they drive into the club in their Mercedes-Benz
That you paid for with your hemorrhoid-ectomy
And those little gowns they give you got no back at all
And they'd be too short if you were three feet tall
I tell you it's just a plot to strip you of your pride and dignity

Strip down nekkid, boy! Cough and sneeze!
Jump up on that table on your hands and knees!
Now, there's not another person in the world you'd do that for
But we just jump on up there like a cocker spaniel
Like it's written somewhere in some sacred manual
That you do everything the doctor tells you...
Who do they think they are?

Doctor doctor, have mercy on me (Have mercy)
Doctor, your cure is worse than my disease
Practicing medicine day and night
Practice, practice, 'till you get it right!
Doctor, have mercy on me

I said, Doctor doctor, have mercy on me (Have mercy)
Doctor, your cure is worse than my disease