Текст песни The End of Me - Realism

I always try to live being the best person that I can be
But in certain occasions I seem to fall
And it really sucks because it's hard for me to pick myself back up
When I get to that depressing state of mind
Because the only thing going through my mind at that point
Is suicide and I failed and I fucked up
But at the end of the day I just sit down, breathe, relax
And find ways to put my energy from negativity to positivity
It doesn't always work and it might not always work but
It's better than sitting there and destroying my mind
Or destroying my thoughts with all of this pollution and negativity
I feel like
I just need to keep moving forward as a human being
Real

This is my energy slowly depletin'
I fell to my knees 'cause I know I'm defeated
I don't wanna get up
I don't wanna be a
Hollow, empty soul I'll just paint my picture
Grandma, soon I might be there with ya
Might just pull this trigger
Re-invent my figure
Wish my pockets could be just a little bit bigger
But that shit don't really matter does it?
Nah
'Cause then I'd be just like the people
The ones they walk around with they heart so evil
Plague the world with their ex-is-tence, free, see, me
I'm just looking for a soul but in reality I never find myself
Glide past some memories where I was hit with belts
This depression it chokes me now slowly I'll die
Curl up on the floor and just try not to cry
Wonder if I should pray
Wondering when I'll fade
'Cause all the time I waste
Making me contemplate
The way that I'm livin' I'm telling you all
This life is a blur through these tears that I ball
Don't want no suicide but that shit's close
Killing myself is a feeling I know
All too well so I hold it close
Now watch me take my life and just let it go
(Gunshot)

I'm awake on the floor with a head full of blood
Regret, I pulled that trigger said he'll meet me up above
I just wanna be a figure for the ones with no love
But the reaper here to take, I been feeling outta place
On a run from the snakes
On a plane full of grace
In the puddles see my face
Knew I coulda been a great
All I ever did was chase
All I ever did was waste
Damn
Sorry mom, I know you loved your son
But even after all the good I've done, I had no one
That could convince me that I'm worth it (uh)
I know that I'm dead but I'm searchin'
Trying to find all the answers in seconds
'Cause really soon I'll be ghost, lay there breathless
Wear shit like Nike, this box I'm not checkin'
The problem I might be, I think for a second like wait
My energy was pure
And even though my heart was sore I stood for all the ones before
The message I was spreadin', healin' people, closin' all them doors
But now I'm all alone while I'm lying on this floor
Blood keep on runnin' like a convict from 5-0
People judging me while they staring from Eiffel's
Never really cared so I keep both my eyes closed
Reality is faded, 25 is my time
Ghost