My Reason

The reason I don't trust men
The reason I fear sex
Why I hate my skin
and the heart that's in my chest
The reason that I fear
when I take off my clothes
If someone else will hurt me
to keep me on my toes
Deep in the night you conjure
the demons that you chose
and put them in my mind
my deep fears to expose
What constitutes a villain?
What makes you kill so fast?
For only your enjoyment
in this life makes you last
Makes you even stronger
while it just makes me weak
And in my waking nightmares
I kill you while you sleep
I take away your power
The power to destroy
And wake up from this nightmare
and try to find my joy
The reason why I wrote this
to make you go away
They told me to let go
and they even said to pray
But praying makes no difference
my anger is complete
A feeling, an emotion
a pain that is discreet
It lingers when I talk to
the people that I date
It's in the back of my mind
and it shows me how to hate
And now I'm trying to conquer
the pieces of my mind
Regain control of my whole story
have heart and brain align
Pain is not forever
Our pain is not forever