Текст песни D&D (2005 Bonus Version) - Stephen Lynch
Now
this
is
about
a
guy
you
might
remember
from
high
school
--
Lynch:
Harmonica.
Teich:
()
Lynch:
More
harmonica.
Teich:
()
Lynch:
()
Bassoon.
Teich:
And
you're
a
cocksucker.
Lynch:
Thank
you.
Lynch:
I
got
my
12-sided
die
and
I'm
ready
to
roll
with
a
wizard
and
my
goblin
crew.
My
friends
are
comin'
over
to
my
mom's
basement,
bringin'
Funyuns
and
Mountain
Dew.
Teich:
I
got
a
big
broadsword
made
outta
cardboard,
and
the
stereo's
a-pumpin'
Zeppelin
--
Lynch:
()
Whole
lotta
love
--
Teich:
It's
that
time
of
the
night,
we
turn
on
the
black
light,
Both:
Let
the
Dungeons
and
the
Dragons
begin
--
IT'S
D&D!
Teich:
Fightin'
with
the
legends
of
yore.
Both:
IT'S
D&D!
Teich:
Never
kissed
a
lady
before.
Lynch:
Nope.
Both:
Whoo!
Lynch:
Play
us
a
little
gui-tar,
Teichy,
come
on.
Teich:
()
Did
you
see
that?
Lynch:
Yeah!
Lynch:
Now
the
Lord
of
the
Rings,
the
Dark
Crystal
and
things,
we
use
these
as
a
reference
tool,
Teich:
And
when
we
put
on
our
cloaks
and
tell
warlock
jokes,
WE'RE
THE
COOLEST
KIDS
IN
THE
SCHOOL!
Lynch:
()
No
we're
not.
Teich:
()
I
know.
Lynch:
Now
Teich's
a
real
bastard,
but
a
fair
dungeon
master;
he's
got
hit
points
and
charisma
to
lend,
Teich:
And
I
rehearse
in
my
room,
or
what
I
call
the
dragon's
tomb,
when
I'm
not
out
with
my
girl
friend.
Both:
It's
D&D!
()
Lynch:
Oh
hold
on,
I'm
sorry,
hold
on
one
second.
Dude,
come
on.
Teich:
What?
Lynch:
Seriously!
Teich:
What?
Lynch:
You
got
a
fuckin'
girlfriend?
"Dungeon
Master"?
Teich:
Yeah,
all
right,
I
do,
I
have
a
girlfriend.
I
do!
I
have
a
girlfriend
...
ahhhh,
I
don't
have
a
girlfriend.
Both:
It's
D&D!
Lynch:
Summoning
the
demons
of
hell,
Both:
It's
D&D!
Teich:
When
our
shift
ends
at
the
Taco
Bell.
()
Lynch:
Well,
my
medieval
brother,
there's
room
here
for
another,
would
you
care
to
take
a
roll
of
the
die?
Drew:
Now
listen
to
my
words,
you
guys
are
fucking
nerds,
I'd
rather
stick
that
sword
in
my
eye!
Lynch:
Wow!
Drew:
You're
not
a
warrior
strong!
Your
fucking
wand
is
a
bong!
There's
no
such
thing
as
a
gnome
or
a
sprite!
Both:
We
put
a
spell
on
thee!
Drew:
()
You
guys
are
too
much
for
me,
ha
ha
ha
...
Both:
()
That's
what
your
mama
said
last
night.
All:
It's
D&D!
Lynch:
Warriors
who
terrify
All:
It's
D&D!
All:
Virgins
till
the
day
we-e-e-e-e--eeeee-AH
()
Lynch:
1,
2,
FUCK
YOU!
All:
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
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