The Auctioneer - Live

Hey, well, alright, so here we go there
And what are you gonna give me for 'em?
One, two, three
I'm the twenty-five, will you give me thirty dollar?
Thirty, make it thirty, bid it at thirty
Thirty-five, another forty, make it a forty, bid it at forty
Now five, five, five, a forty-five
And now fifty under the line, sir
Well
There
Was

A boy in Arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he should go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon, he'd take a little walk
And pretty soon, you'd find him at the local auction barn
Then he'd sit and listen carefully
Pretty soon, he began to see how the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my, it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"

Twenty-five dollar bidder, now thirty dollar
Thirty, will you give me thirty, make it thirty, bid him a ball
And thirty dollar, will you give me thirty?
Who will bid at a thirty dollar bid?
Thirty dollar bidder, now thirty-five, will you give me thirty-five?
And make it thirty-five, I'll bid it at thirty-five
Who will bid it at a thirty-five dollar bid?

As time went on, he didn't rest, and all could see he didn't jest
He practiced call and bids both night and day
And his daddy'd find him out behind the barn
Just a-workin' up an awful storm as he tried to imitate the auctioneer
Then his dad said, "Son, we just can't stand to have a mediocre man
Sellin' things at auction, usin' our good name
I'll send you off to auction school, then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"
Like these rhymes?

Thirty-five dollar bidder, now forty dollar
Forty, will you give me forty, make it forty, bid him a ball
And forty dollar, will you give me forty?
Who will bid at a forty dollar bid?
Forty dollar bidder, now forty-five, will you give me forty-five?
And make it forty-five, I'll bid it at forty-five
Who will bid it at a forty-five dollar bid?

Well, from that boy who went to school
Grew a man who played it cool
He came home a full-fledged auctioneer
And the people came from miles around
Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
Then his fame spread out from shore to shore
He had all he could do and more
Had to buy a plane to get around
Now he's the tops in all the land
Let's applause and give that man a hand
He's the best hillbilly auctioneer

Thirty-five dollar bidder, now forty dollar
Forty, will you give me forty, make it forty, bid him a ball
And forty dollar, will you give me forty?
Who will bid at a forty dollar bid?
Forty dollar bidder, now forty-five, will you give me forty-five?
And make it forty-five, I'll bid it at forty-five
I sold that hog for a fifty dollar bid

Hey, well, alright, sir, open the
Gates and let 'em out and welcome, boys
I come here to allow the number twenty-nine
There, and what are you gonna give me for 'em?
I'm the twenty-five, will you give me thirty dollar?
Thirty, make it thirty, bid it at thirty
Thirty-five, another forty, make it a forty, bid it at forty
Now five, five, five, a forty-five
And now fifty under the line, sir, well
Sold that hog for a fifty dollar bid
We wanna thank you