Good, Clean, Christian Fun (Intro)

Nobody's ever gonna see me naked
Not while I have something to say about it
Sex is so terrifying
I don't wanna touch another person's body
So I always leave space for the Holy Ghost
When I'm dancing in the gym or locker room
But I really would rather not die a virgin
'Cuz that would just be oh-so embarrassing

I can picture the funeral now
All of my family and friends are gathered round
Then Jesus Christ himself came down
Really seemed quite amused
Made fun of my shoes
Pointed at my casket and said
'HA HA
'Nobody ever saw you naked!
'Nobody ever saw you naked!'

Jesus says my body is a sin
And to touch another person's body is a sin
So nobody will ever know me
But I really am very lonely
So Jesus Christ could you please
FUCK OFF