Текст песни If U Can't Dance (Slide) - Will Smith

O! If you can't dance, it's cool to get up now
Usually, ya'll stand off on the side,
You know you're a little embarrassed or whatever
But this one of those joints for everybody,
So get on up but keep it simple

If you can't dance then this is your jam, baby, left to right all night
Slide that's all you gotta do... You can't dance then this is your jam, baby
Left to right all night, slide, that's all you gotta do

Now we all know the boy at the club, all liquored up,
Boy with the bub tryin' to pick 'em up, wack dancing,
'Wooking pa nub', shirt too bright, pants too tight
Boy settle down
Now I ain't just messing with you
I got better things to do
I'm trying to help, I got a lesson for you
I know you do the best you could do
Wanna get next to Boo, then the less you do the better
Cause women equate dance with sex
They gon' see you & be like, 'Next'!
But you gon' be like, 'hold up Ma' ('Next!')
But she gon' be like, uh huh, ('Next!')

Now looka-here, rule #1, know ya name,

If it ain't Usher, Justin or Hammer, then we can touch ya

Rule #2, never do a dance you can't do, why stupid,
Cause you can't do it

If you can't dance then this is your jam, baby, left to right all night
Slide that's all you gotta do... You can't dance then this is your jam, baby
Left to right all night, slide, that's all you gotta do

So I'm up in my spot in Miami the other night, right
& This Dude's out on the floor OD-ing, just way 'over-dancing'
So his Mommy wanna holla at me
She thought my name was Billy, I told her it was Willie
She said she watch my TV show & I was very silly
Told her I was from Philly she looked at me said, 'Really?'
& Judging from her t-shirt, I could tell that she was chilly
So I gave her my sweater, she said her name was Etta
She said she come from Cuba and she just had bought a Jetta

She said she was glad I met her, let's go somewhere together

She said she'd ride in my car cause she knew my car was better
The conversation cookin', attention getting' tookin'
My Spidey senses tinglin', I felt somebody lookin'

Now who this brotha lookin', & now he runnin', bookin'
I'm mad I'm like a fisherman, I almost had my in
I figured I should get up & quickly clear my head up,
Cause Etta got a man & I'm feelin' kinda set-up

Now Dude was really fed up & yo, he wouldn't let up
Homey if I hit you, you might never ever get up
Now he was not a dancer, plus he wasn't handsome
Comin' like Mel Gibson, like I had his girl for ransom
Yo, Pedro wanna go out side, yo amigo, tranquillo... slide

If you can't dance then this is your jam, baby, left to right all night
Slide that's all you gotta do... You can't dance then this is your jam, baby
Left to right all night, slide, that's all you gotta do

Now rule #3 is easy, please remember that you ain't on "Beat Street"
Sweet feet, you ain't tryin' to win no TV, another dude did a move
No need to out do it
Rule #4, out on the floor, don't be doing moves that don't nobody do no more
Draw too much attention to be adventurous out on the floor
There's a reason that don't nobody do 'em no more, you feel me?
This may be hilarious, but Rule #5 is serious, it's a shame that we have
To discuss
That there's no lip biting or pelvic thrusts
I mean you think that move will put the sting on her,
You too close, tryin' to put a ring on her?
You don't know that girl, don't cling on her & don't put your thing on
Her... cool?!