Three Little Pigs

Why don't you sit right back
And I, I may tell you a tale
A tale of three little pigs
And a big bad wolf

Well, the first little piggy, well, he was kinda hippy
Spent most of his day just a-dreamin' of the city
Then one day he bought a guitar
He moved to Hollywood to become a star
Livin' on the farm, he knew nothin' of the city
Built his house out of straw, what a pity
Then one day, jammin' on some chords
Along came the wolf, knockin' on his door

"Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', and I'll blow your house in"

Well, the second little piggy, well, he was kinda stogie
Spent most of his day just a-kanga smokin'
Huffin' and a-puffin' down on Venice Beach
Gettin' brain money for religious speech
Built his shelter from what he garbage picked
Mostly made up of old cans and sticks
Then one day he was crankin' up on Marley
Along came the wolf on his big bad Harley

"Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in"

Well, the third little piggy is a grade A student
His daddy was a rock star, Ted Igloogen
Earned his master's degree from Harvard College
Built his house from his architect knowledge
A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills
Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills
Then one day came the old house matcher
The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher

"Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Well, I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in"

Well, the big bad wolf, well, he huffed
And he puffed all that he could
And lo and behold, the little piggy's house stood
"It's made out of concrete," the little piggy shouted
The wolf just frowned as he pouted
So they called 9-11 like any piggy would
They sent out Rambo just as fast as they could

"Yo, wolf pig, I'm your worst nightmare
Your ass is mine"

Well, the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see
And that's the end of the story for you and me
If you still give a listen, you just may
Hear the big wolf and little piggy say

"Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin

I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in

Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in
Huffin', puffin', blow your house in
Huffin' and a-puffin' and I'll blow your house in"

And the moral of the story
A band with no talent can easily
Amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show