Lyrics If Momma Was Married - Bernadette Peters , 2003 Broadway Cast Gypsy

I wish Momma would marry a plain man
Then we could all be together

If Momma was married we'd live in a house
As private as private can be
Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse
Two monkeys, one father, six turtles and me
If Momma was married

If Momma was married I'd jump in the air
And give all my toe shoes to you
I'd get all these hair-ribbons out of my hair
And once and for all I'd get Momma out too
If Momma was married

Momma, get out your white dress
You've done it before
Without much success
Momma, Godspeed and God bless
We're not keeping score
What's one more or less?

Oh, Momma, say yes
And waltz down the aisle while you may
I'll gladly support you
I'll even escort you
And I'll gladly give you away
Oh Momma, get married today

If Momma was married there wouldn't be any more
"Let me entertain you, let me make you smile
I will do some kicks"
"I will do some tricks"
"Sing out, Louise!"
"Smile, Baby!"

Momma, please take our advice
We aren't the Lunts
I'm not Fanny Brice!
Momma, we'll buy you the rice
If only this once
You wouldn't think twice

It could be so nice
If Momma got married to stay
But Momma gets married
And married
And married
And never gets carried away
Oh Momma
Oh Momma
Oh Momma
Get married today!