Lyrics Hyperventilating (feat. Ivan B) - Abstract

Seventeen with a pen and a pad
Writin' out my life, makin' sense of my past
Tryna find the light through a sensitive mask
I don't take it off till I'm deep in the track

Speakin' to myself, just reflectin' off of the page (yeah)
Who knew the passive kid was just good at passin' the rage? (Yeah)
Off into a song so it couldn't live in the cage
That sat upon his shoulders just hiding behind his face

Back when it was simple, before it was a job
Before the expectations, before I knew the odds
Back when it was just a broken heart I had to fix
Now I'm scared that I've been broken since I made a couple hits

Fans want me to fly but they keep me on a leash
Fears of losin' me to a level that they can't reach
This the life I chose and they tell me that I'm a beast
But all I wanted was the beauty, all I'm searchin' for is peace

Can someone help me catch my breath?
My heart is beating out my chest
Hyperventilating
I thought I was waitin'
On someone to save me
But I'm findin' lately
All I can count on to not drive me crazy
Is being right here for the person who needs me
But holdin' myself up, it ain't been too easy

They give me pain then I elevate
Replicate the feelin' when I meditate
Can't find my state of mind when I'm out of state
If I take a break, I'ma break
Overthink when I don't wanna think

Watch my thoughts, I don't wanna sink in 'em
Pointin' out my fears, like, whatcha think of 'em?
Countin' out the years like what you leavin' them
Droppin' every classic, how you sleep on 'em?
How you sleep on 'em?

Lately, I've been keepin' it secretive, always feelin' defeated
Feelin' the blisters on my feet, I see y'all kickin' your feet up
Don't call me to kick it, I'm on a track, I don't mean to meet up
If you ain't workin', you workin' to keep up
Can't see me, I'll see you, ay

Outta breath, I've been a mess, too many choices been a guess
Overworking 'cause I know the water's coming for the neck
Doin' more, I'm feelin' less, is that a recipe I'll test?
Looking out the window, got a question for the blessed

Can someone help me catch my breath?
My heart is beating out my chest
Hyperventilating
I thought I was waitin'
On someone to save me
But I'm findin' lately
All I can count on to not drive me crazy
Is being right here for the person who needs me
But holdin' myself up, it ain't been too easy

Truth be told, I've been away
I went from starvin' to havin' a competition on my dinner plate
And I don't say that to intimidate
I just want these gimmicky rappers to step aside so I can innovate

I built my whole studio inside my living space
So I'm writin' home with the lyricism I illustrate (yeah)
I give people they flowers while they can smell 'em
And not a minute late, 'cause then they start to disintegrate

Rose petals and falsettos
They never really make it to these dark ghettos
So Air Jordans and Margielas and dark yellow
Will shimmy from the rain when the storm settles

Damn, it ain't easy but I'm fine with that
I put my heart into this music, it's forever where you'll find me at
I'm in the future lookin' back at this rap like an artifact
Tryna remember just where I started at