Lyrics I See Bones (The X-Ray Song) - Allan Sherman

The doctor was looking at the X-ray
And I asked him, "What do you see?"
And he kept on looking at the X-ray
As he said in French to me

"I see bones
I see gizzards and bones
And a few kidney stones
Among the lovely bones

I see hips
And fourteen paper clips
Three asparagus tips
Among the lovely bones
I see things in your peritoneum
That belong in the British Museum

I see your spine
And your spine looks divine
It's exactly like mine
Now doesn't that seem strange
And in case you use pay telephones
There's two dollars in change
Among your lovely bones

Oh hello there, Nurse
Come over here and look at this X-ray
It's really remarkable
Look at this
Isn't the lumbar vertebrae supposed to be connected to the clavicle?
Well I know, but with Scotch tape?
Hey, look what's in there
Look at that, it's a stamp
It's a McKinley ultramarine blue with imperfect perforations
I've gotta get that out and put in my collection
Look in there, there's printing
What does it say in there?
"U.S. Certified Grade A."
Look at this, fascinating
See those little round things
Know what those are?
Those are M M's
Those people are right
They don't melt!

Among the lovely bones