Allan Sherman - If I Could Play Piano (Live) Lyrics

Lyrics If I Could Play Piano (Live) - Allan Sherman



(All my life I've loved Jimmy Durante, as I suppose you have too,
And the next thing is kind of a Jimmy Durante
Type song that I wrote. And it goes like this:)
If I could play the piano
Like I'd like to play the piano,
I would sit down at the piano,
And I'd play.
That's how I'd play the piano night and day.
If I could play the banjo
Like I'd like to play the banjo,
I'd go out and buy a banjo
And a pick.
I mean I'd play the banjo really slick.
If I could play the bongos,
I'd go get a set of drums.
I'd entertain my chums
And then they'd call me twinkle thumbs.
But I can't play the piano,
Or the banjo, or the bongos,
'Cause when I sit down to play
The people laugh.
So I guess I'll have to play my phonograph.
But my phonograph is broke,
My phonograph is broke,
My phonograph is broke,
I bought it in Hoboken,
They fixed it in Shamokin,
I mean it, I'm not jokin'.
My phonograph is broke,
Let's finish this, I'm chokin'.
I'm chokin' and I'm croakin'.
Hey, stop the music.
Stop the music.
Stop the music!
Stop the music!
The following big finish comes to you
From that other great piano player, Van
Cliburn.
Tank you!



Writer(s): Allan Sherman


Allan Sherman - Allan Sherman Live, Hoping You Are the Same
Album Allan Sherman Live, Hoping You Are the Same
date of release
16-04-2019

1 Intro to Allan Sherman Live, Hoping You Are the Same (Live)
2 Introduction, Short Songs, Hello Muddah Nevada Style, And a Song Written by Elizabeth Taylor (Live)
3 Taking Lessons (Making Whoopee)
4 A Waste of Money (A Taste of Honey)
5 How Van Nuys Got Its Name (Live)
6 Smog Gets in Your Eyes (Smoke Gets in Your Eyes) (Live)
7 Scotch and/Or Water (Live)
8 Sorry 'bout That (I'm Sorry About That)
9 Learner's Brassiere (Live)
10 Mononucleosis Is the Kissing Disease (Live)
11 I Finally Admit That I Won World War Two Single - Handed
12 Dodging the Draft (Balling the Jack) [Draft Dodger Song] (Live)
13 The Rebel (Live)
14 A Warning to Those Who Have a Low Threshold of Sex (Live)
15 When I'm in the Mood for Love, You're in the Mood for Herring (I'm in the Mood for Love) (Live)
16 Second Hand Nose (Second Hand Rose) (Live)
17 A Few Words About the Chinese New Year (Live)
18 Sam You Made the Pants Too Long [Lord, You Made the Night Too Long] (Hong Kong, China Version)
19 If I Could Play Piano (Live)
20 Son of Peyton Place USA (Live)




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