Lyrics 2:45 - Big Frame

I guess it′s been a minute
Since you heard a thing from me
And since it's only fitting
Let me start from the beginning
Feeling like I′m winning
'Cept a mirror flip of it
Starring up at the ceiling
Laying next to my beloved
And she ain't really know it
But I′m dying inside
See this fear of past failure
Got me questioning life like
Mike you got a chance do better
Let go of being bitter
Lord keep handing you blessings
Why would you be a quitter
I guess it′s not the way
That I envisioned it
Pursuit of lost dreams
Got my options so limited
And as far real dreams
Seems I never get the benefit
I barely sleep a wink
And I don't even see the end of it
I′m feeling like when the whip flipped
Should have ended it
God seen different
Should have known he wasn't finished with
Building on something on sorta new
Like a genesis
A brand new man became of me
And it′s because of this
I started to see life
In a different light
Tried walking a new path
But I ain't get it right
It′s like my soul still broken
I ain't feeling right
But put on that brave face
And be a man yo
You got A wife
Though you wear ya Pop's face
And ya name′s Mike
You are two different men
Who led different lives
Quit trying to find all his wrongs
Trying to make ′em rights
Those are the sins of ya father son
You ain't gotta fight
You got ya own demons
To battle with
Depression self esteem with a splash of inadequate
It′s true it's always been a thing that I′ve struggled with
Built up frustration mixed constant befuddlement
Which puts me in a state of mind
That makes it hard deal with me
Staring at myself
Guess I gotta be real with me
So here I go
But just know
It ain't a easy go
I hurt a lot, deep down
But yet I hardly show
And Friends and Fam hardly see me
Yo I′m like a ghost
I say it more like a joke
Except it really ain't
I'd say I′d give all to God
Except I really can′t
And honestly
I don't even know how
And life′s so fast
I just wish it would slow down
Maybe then I'd be
More of a joy to around
But yet that′s speculation
Because most of the time
When Mike's down
He′s fronting up
So there's no deviation
I need mediation
But in the back of my mind
My shame and pride
Makes me put it to side
Besides Ish going thought it
And for me to lose it
Is something I ain't got time for
So therefore
I bury a bit deeper
Make my will a bit weaker
I′d sacrifice my all
Just to prove that I′m a keeper
I'm tossing and i′m turning
Tears welling in my eyes
I turn to check my clock
And i see
2:45