Lyrics Life Upon the Wicked Stage - Caroline O'Connor

Why do stage struck maidens clamor
To be actin' in the drammer?

(We've heard say you are gay night and day.)

Oh, go 'way!

(We drink water from a dipper,
You drink champagne from a slipper.)

Tho' it seems cruel to bust
All your dreams, still I must;
Here's the truth I tell you:
Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't ever what a girl supposes;
Stage door Johnnies aren't raging
Over you with gems and roses.
When you let a feller hold your hand (which
means an extra beer or sandwich),
Ev'rybody whispers: "Ain't her life a whirl?"

Though you're warned against a roue
Ruining your reputation,
I have played around
The one night trade around
A great big nation:
Wild old men who give you jewels and sables
Only live in Aesop's Fables.
Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't nothin' for a girl.

(Though we've listened to you moan and grieve, you
Must pardon us if we do not believe you,
There is no doubt you're crazy about
Your awful stage!)

I admit it's fun
To smear my face with paint,
Causing ev'ryone to think I'm what I ain't,
And I like to play a demi-mondy role
With soul!
Ask the hero does he like the way I lure
When I play a hussy or a paramour,
Yet when once the curtain's down
My life is pure, and how I dread it!

(Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't ever what a girl supposes,
Stage door Johnnies aren't raging
Over you with gems and roses.)

If some gentleman would talk with reason
I would cancel all next season.
Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't nothin' for a girl!

(You'd be back the season after!)

I've got virtue, but it ain't been tested,
no one's even interested.
Life upon the wicked stage...