Johnny Jump Up

Ill tell you a story that happened to me
One day as I went down to Youghal by the sea
The sun it was high and the day it was warm
Says I an auld pint wouldn't do me no harm

I went in and I called for a bottle of stout
Says the barman I'm sorry the beer is sold out
Try whiskey or Paddy ten years in the wood
Says I I'll try cider I've heard that it's good

O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up
After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up

After drinkin' a quart I went out to the yard
Where I met up with Brophy the big local guard
Come here to me boy don't you know I'm the law
So I jumped up on the counter and kissed him on the jaw

We fell to the floor and we couldn't get up
But it wasn't me kissed him twas the Johnny Jump Up
And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the sea
Was a poor man on crutches and says he to me

I'm afraid of me life I'll get hit by a car
Would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar?
After drinkin a pint of that cider so sweet
He threw down his crutches and danced round on his feet

A man died in the union by the name of McNab
They washed him and shaved him and laid him right out on the slab
And after the undertaker his measurements did take
His wife took him home to a very fine wake

It was about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high
The corpse he sat up and says he with a sigh
I can't get into heaven for they won't let me up
Till I bring them a drink of old Johnny Jump Up

O never O never O never again
If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten
For I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up
After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up