Lyrics Mental - Derez De'Shon

Thoughts in my mental
I can't even think straight without popping prescriptions
Mixing it with liquor
Tryna find a way to make life so simple
It gets harder everyday, I swear life's so difficult
I gotta keep a pistol, I can't trust too many niggas
I been hurt too many times, and I done loved too many bitches
I made it through the struggle, swear to God as my witness
It was hard, but I did it, thanking God every second
Every minute I repent it, Lord forgive me, I was sinning
I was tripping, I was tryna find a way to hide my feelings, yeah
I was tryna find a way to handle business, yeah
I was tryna find a place to raise my children, yeah
I ain't have nowhere to stay, I swear, I didn't, yeah
Just got a text from my lil partner, say he just got robbed
No disrespect, I swear, I love you, but that ain't my problem
Going through so much, I got my own, and you can't help me solve 'em
When you was up, didn't put me on, I just kept taking losses
Gonna lose myself in my own mind, 'cause I keep seeing demons
Scared to fall asleep or close my
Eyes, terrified I might stop breathing
If I overdosed and died right now,
They wouldn't know 'til they tweet it
Nobody checks if I'm alive, only call when they need me
Thinkin' to myself how it would've been,
If I never lose my cousin or my closest friend
All these niggas act like they love me, but they just pretend
Tryna find my way up out that place, its like I'm stuck again
I've been on drugs again,
Tryna drown my problems and my pain with this cup of Henn
Bitch knew I was fucked up by the way a nigga stumbled in
Residue all on my face, I'm fucking up again
I lost my heart, walked away, I'm losing love again
And I've been going through some things I just can't understand
Said I've been going through some things I just don't understand
Losing friends, tryna find myself again
Staring in the mirror, I don't know who I am
I ain't seen my children in a minute, damn
What the fuck got into me?
Nigga talkin' 'bout killin' me
Keep guns for my enemies
Bitch say she ain't feelin' me
I'm a good nigga with bad energy
She wanna fuck, I wanna go to sleep
God, I see the devil in my dreams
But nobody understand when I said it
Gotta see a doctor, tryna see where my head is
Gotta see a doctor 'cause I need some more medicine
Try to get so high that I can't feel nothing
Try to get so high that my body get numb
Tryna get so high that I can't feel love
Swear I get so high, they can't wake me up
Swear I get so high, they can't wake me up