Lyrics Nice Peter vs Epiclloyd - Epic Rap Battles of History

Epic Rap Battles of History!
Nice Peter
V.S
Epic Lloyd
Begin!
This is one vid' kid that you won't ever survive
I'll beat you, dislike you then unsubscribe
You'll be good at rapping some day, I promise bro
But for now, just stick to editing that gay ass Monday Show
I'll slaughter your water color unicorns, eat 'em for breakfast
Then leak to YouTube your middle name is Alexis
I can tell you're scared just from the body language I'm reading
You should start leaving, look, your hairline's already retreating
Nice Peter? Who's that? No one gives two shits
Everyone knows your page is just the place that rap battles live
Dude you're really huge on YouTube, you got a great career
But remember you got famous off of my idea
The battles were your idea to start with, that's no lie
But I'm the one who had the brains to let a midget play the bad guys
Look at you or let me just tell you what I see
You're a short little sidekick, I'll call you mini-me
I drew a mustache on your face and you played a mean Hitler
Take the mustache away, you look more like Bette Midler
You big tooth, chompy face, horse looking prick
You and Bill O'Reilly can both suck my dick!
You're taller than I am but you look up to me
The guy who got you, your first job in comedy
I wrote your best verses for you, let you scream on the You've got as much music talent as Chuck fucking Norris
You? A musician? Eh, that's kinda stretching
You wrote eighty-seven songs with the same chord progression
You look like a thumb, where'd you even come from?
It's like I'm battle rapping a fat version of Gollum
I'm gonna knock you right outta your little Superman socks
You were nothing before you rode up on KassemG's jock
Nice Peter:
Man, you don't even have to say that kind of shit
Fuck the rap battles and you, I quit!