Lyrics Setting the Scene - Funky DL

One

Let me tell you a story, cos it's a good one,
It's all about this woman I met, she was a Hoodlum,
Gangster, Bandit, she set me up and planned it,
And all because of her, my life was drowning in a sandpit,
Met her at an art gallery, began to chit-chat,
She was kinda interesting, so we went to kick it a bar close by,
Got to drinking Patrón,
So got twisted to the point where she would follow me home,
Yo', the morning after, laid in bed for half an hour,
Took a cold shower, washing her stench then took a towel,
Dried myself down, devoured some eggs and pancakes,
She ate bran flakes, tying her hair, the band breaks,
Departed with handshakes instead of kisses,
She stated "this was simply business, I'm not your mistress,
Your Mrs, this ain't Christmas, don't it twisted,
I'm from a school of bad bitches,
Can get you blistered and feed your body to the fishes",
She wrote a number on the back of some Rizlas,
"What is this?", she said "a college kid they call the wizard,
Call him and pay visit and beware of all his lizards,
He gone tell you bout' religion and the time he spent in
Prison, he talks a lot, but listen till he finish,
Then take this envelope and when you get there only give him
Twenty grand from inside, he's gonna count there's nothing missing,
Then meet me at the 'Chung Ho' kitchens and mind the pigeons".

Two

Arrived at The Wizards, the door was already open,
He was choking on a mouth-gag, his nose was broken,
His clothes was soaked in petroleum, suffering pandemonium,
I untied him quickly, asked him what the hell was going on?
He said he owed some money to some cold-hearted loan-sharks,
And gotta pay them back within a week, or get some broke arms,
Then asked me, "where the money at?"
Pulled out the brown bag,
Removed about half and gave this dude his twenty grand,
Then he said he need the rest, I wasn't down with that,
So he started raising his voice, "yo' who you shouting at?
You may be crazy, but you ain't gone get my paper",
He made a sudden move, that's when he fired off his Taser,
Which hit me in the blazer and I fell face down,
I'm trying to get up, he kicked me and kept yelling "stay down",
And all I'm thinking is W.T.F., now ain't this some BS?,
I can't speak, he tased me, I'm speechless.

Three

I wake up in the back of a squad car, handcuffs,
Officer to my left, overweight, dandruff,
Bad breath, wedding ring, thinking who would marry that?
Fifteen minutes looking out the window,
Now we at the precinct, fingerprints, mug shot, phone call,
Put the money in the slot and leaned myself against the wall,
5-5-5-, called the Chung Ho Chinese,
She came on the line, I asked her straight,"why me?"
She laughed, and said she need a scapegoat,
Someone she could manipulate to handle them fake notes,
Cos' she was being staked by the counterfeit cops,
She got a tip about a bust and so she set me up,
She said don't take it personal, I hope the judge is merciful,
But you gone do some time, I hope you know that's irreversible,
My money ran out, my phone time was up,
I placed the receiver down and then my cell door shut.