Lyrics Lunch and Learn - Gavin Castleton

Your snack game is wack
How'm I supposed to jack a whole backpack's worth of Ritz crackers?
You freckled clowns can't keep bagels 'round
No forks to be found—this break room is a ghost town!
Very least? I'mma need ya dose me nice
Once or twice a week with your boy La Croix on ice
I'm talking cans—I won't share a mug with these hams!
I'm not a germaphobe but half these grunions got bunions so
Let's get generous with the hand soap, Tina!
I don't mean to put you on the spot but... I mean...
You could automate the shit out of your job—you know this!
Feel the deep burn, Tina—your whole shit is machine-learnable!

And even Google's janitors get more from their managers...
Even Twitter bots get the occasional Mott's
Cashews are not a legitimate delicacy!
It's 2019: diabetes is an actual thing

Proteins, calcium, fats: These are the nutrients I care about
Lose the bottomless jelly beans and Sour Patch
Bring in the juice bar and the salad bar, set it up in the kitchen
I'm not trying to go full-toddler up in this corporate prison

Engage