Lyrics Be a Clown (From "The Pirate") - Gene Kelly

I'll Remember Forever,
When I Was But Three,
Mama, Who Was Clever,
Remarking To Me;
If, Son, When You're Grown Up,
You Want Ev'rything Nice,
I've Got Your Future Sewn Up
If You Take This Advice:
Be A Clown, Be A Clown,
All The World Loves A Clown.
Act A Fool, Play The Calf,
And You'll Always Have The Last Laugh.
Wear The Cap And The Bells
And You'll Rate With All The Great Swells
If You Become A Doctor, Folks'll Face You With Dread,
If You Become A Dentist, They'll Be Glad When You're Dead,
You'll Get A Bigger Hand If You Can Stand On Your Head,
Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown.
Be A Clown, Be A Clown,
All The World Loves A Clown.
Be A Crazy Buffoon
And The Demoiselles'll All Swoon.
Dress In Huge, Baggy Pants
And You'll Ride The Road To Romance.
A Butcher Or A Baker, Ladies Never Embrace,
A Barber For A Beau Would Be A Social Disgrace,
They All'll Come To Call If You Can Fall On Your Face,
Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown.
Be A Clown, Be A Clown,
All The World Loves A Clown.
Show 'Em Tricks, Tell 'Em Jokes
And You'll Only Stop With Top Folks.
Be A Crack Jackanapes
And They'll Imitate You Like Apes.
Why Be A Great Composer With Your Rent In Arrears,
Why Be A Major Poet And You'll Owe It For Years?
When Crowds'll Pay To Giggle If You Wiggle Your Ears?
Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown.
Be A Clown, Be A Clown,
All The World Loves A Clown.
If You Just Make 'Em Roar
Watch Your Mountebank Account Soar.
Wear A Painted Mustache
And You're Sure To Make A Big Splash.
A College Education I Should Never Propose,
A Bachelor's Degree Won't Even Keep You In Clo'es,
But Millions You Will Win If You Can Spin On Your Nose.
Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown.
Be A Clown, Be A Clown,
All The World Loves A Clown.
Be A Poor Silly Ass
And You'll Always Travel First-Class,
Give 'Em Quips, Give 'Em Fun,
And They'll Pay To Say You're A-1.
If You Become A Farmer, You've The Weather To Buck,
If You Become A Gambler, You'll Be Stuck With Your Luck,
Ut Jack You'll Never Lack If You Can Quack Like A Duck
(Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack)
Be A Clown, Be A Clown, Be A Clown.