Lyrics Runnin' - Gremlin

I don't love myself
Really hate this skin, yeah
It's hard to admit but I gotta commit 'fore I break this pen
No one even knows of the place I'm in
Or how dark all these days have been
I just keep it all deep inside
I drink and drive, then pray again

For some time I been on my own
Writing songs in the dark alone
About how I'm far from home
Even though I'm home it's all unknown
I called on God then he calls my mom
She calls me like, "Mark, what's wrong?"
Said I'm fine, she said, "Quit lyin'
I know you been drinkin' all night long"

Didn't admit that I been cryin'
I been sippin', I been dyin'
I been tryna find peace
Tryna find me, I don't know who I am
I don't know what my purpose is
Or why my brain resurfaced this
I pour my drink, then go to sleep
'Cause the more I think the worse it gets

I just need to go somewhere far and I'll be okay
I don't need your help, I'll do this shit but in my own way
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)

Even if I try my very best you know I can't stay
All I do is run and I'll be runnin' till my last days
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)

I run from love but I run to pain
It sucks 'cause I love you but I can't love you, it's such a shame
And no, you're not the one to blame
You probably think I'm runnin' game
This comes from my childhood
Girl, if I was good then I would stay

I think it's fear of abandonment
I don't know how to handle it
When they come and go
I crumble slow just like I did as a kid
It made me toxic and hazardous
You won't trust anyone after this
I'll say goodbye to make you cry
Then afterwards plant a kiss

I pray for all these changes
All my friends have turned to strangers
My ex girl who I wronged
Is moving on and I don't blame her
I've been, been so selfish
I've been broken, I can't help it
To the ones I've hurt, for what it's worth
I'm sorry for what you've dealt with

I just need to go somewhere far and I'll be okay
I don't need your help I'll do this shit but in my own way
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)

Even if I try my very best you know I can't stay
All I do is run and I'll be runnin' till my last days
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)
I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)

I need you to leave me alone (leave me alone)