Lyrics All In My Head (feat. Royce Da 5'9" and Kobe) - Joe Budden , Royce da 5'9"

If I wasn't myself could I say I gave the fans All of Me?
Can't decide if I'm more ashamed of what they saw of me
Than I am of ignoring all the lessons that was taught to me
Headed up field but couldn't dodge the last tackler
How could a forward thinker move so ass backwards
How could a dude with no regrets at all, willing to bet it all
Not realize that quicker demise, how could I neglect it all?
I'm so seasonal, some of you knew id spring back
With a heart this cold, how'd ya'll think I'd be receptive to fall
I'm plenty comfortable when danger's around
And even more so when strangers around
In a bigger picture, was sicker down on my triggers
And all the alarm enforcers
Down to a nigga, that I'm about for drugs and liquor or the harm it causes
Life and death, I tried to lynch myself
Thought I could keep it all a secret, I convinced myself
But really the folk that loved me, they could tell I was loakin
I couldn't see him, cry me a river cause it fell in the ocean
Numb to my words now, maybe felt it was open
I cut so many people loose to any need help with devotion
That's just some of the things I ask my Lord the savior
And when He calls to me, well He have done us all a favorHow did I make it here?
Who I are?
I feel so lost
Now I'm not seeing it clear
Is it my fault?
Is it my fault?
It's all in my headI'm looking around like this can't be happening
Round of applause for the angry rappers
Lord my girl cried me a flood then me a river
That's love depending on me when I'm a dependent on liquor
I'm up in the shoe store, she got no love to show
You ever look at a bitch she was fucking behind your bitch back like fuck I was fuckin you for, come on
I'm an artist so I'm intelligent
I would tell you to do some soul searchin
But it's hangin up in my closet with your skeleton
That's gotta be a God's work, even a diamond gotta be polished first
The quarter is on the loose and I ain't been out here getting my dollars' worth
I had to remove the goggles first
To see through the sippin patrone and 50 phonies for
I need to go get me a kidney doner
Guru, Nate Dogg, go head blink your eye
Your doctor told me you close, go ahead drink and die
Buried under the stone where the patrone 5th sits by
That reads hella somebody who never wanted to be this guy[Hook]They say knowledge is power, great cause every day I learn
As of late been having revelations bout this hate turn
Hate the way they judge me, 2 I got the case adjourned
Hated the belly of the beast to I became it's tapeworm
When I said I'd stop getting high tried to say it's done
No, I'm the type to walk through the fire to check the way it burn
They say my brain is off, I say how can it be?
If I'm out my mind how can I be in sanity?
The people used to say that I was scared of progress
They don't know how hard a nigga tried to advance
But I don't know who's more to blame
Is it them for really not knowing me
Or is it me for never really giving them a chance?
Get too close, be too big of a threat
Now it's been little than no time
Thinking why I ain't get rid of you yet
Gotta recognize my maturity
Gotta see I'm grown
Letting my skeletons out the closet just so I never be alone
Since I got trust issues I won't discuss with you
Besides God tell me who the fuck's supposed to save you
Pop one, have one man to man, was gone half my life so
Somewhere in his head probly feel it in his place too
Plus more people will see me soon
I mean I'll be on national TV soon
So when I ask if people I have around are cancer for me
That's 4 million more that might be able to answer for me
Joe