Lyrics First of May - Jonathan Coulton

I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
Then a little conversation
With my squirrel and chipmunk friends

I said I'm sick and tired of winter
And I wish that it was spring
Then a little fella named Robin Redbreast
Began to sing

And he sang
"Ooh, child, what you think, the cold winter's gonna last forever?"
"Ooh, child, now's the time for all the people to get together"
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May, First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called
Fucking outside

I thanked him for the information
I cried a little when he flew away
Watched an episode of "The People's Court"
And I tried to plan my day

I called up my old lady
She wasn't home, so I called my girl
Asked her if she'd like to join me
As I entertain the world

I said
"Ooh, child, I'll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off"
"Ooh, child, you're gonna like it when we're taking each other's pants off"
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May, First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called
Fucking outside

So, we went to the park together
We were walking in the midday sun
Met all kinds of people and we
We fucked everyone

Fucked a lady who sells ice cream
We fucked a man with a tan shar pei
Everyone who needed fucking wildly
They got fucked today

So come on
Ooh, child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh, child, you'll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you
Outside

'Cause it's the First of May, First of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady or at least your favorite lay
Water's not cold, baby, dip in your big toe
Maybe I'll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called
Fucking outside
Fucking outside
Fucking outside