Lyrics Adelaide's Lament - Kim Criswell
The
average
unmarried
female,
Basically
insecure,
Due
to
some
long
frustration
may
react
With
psychosomatic
symptoms,
Difficult
to
endure,
Affecting
the
upper
respiratory
tract.
In
other
words,
Just
from
waiting
around
for
that
plain
little
band
of
gold,
A
person
can
develop
a
cold.
You
can
spray
her
wherever
you
figure
the
streptococci
lurk,
You
can
give
her
a
shot
for
whatever
she's
got,
but
it
just
won't
work.
If
she's
tired
of
getting
the
fisheye
from
the
hotel
clerk,
A
person
can
develop
a
cold.
(Spoken)
It
says
here...
(Sung)
The
female
remaining
single,
Just
in
the
legal
sense,
Has
a
neurotic
tendency,
see
note.
(spoken)
Tendency
see
no--
Oh!
See
note.
(Sung)
Chronic,
organic
syndromes,
Toxic
or
hypertense,
Affecting
the
eye,
the
ear,
the
nose,
or
throat.
In
other
words,
Just
from
worrying
whether
the
wedding
is
on
or
off,
A
person
can
develop
a
cough.
You
can
feed
her
all
day
with
the
Vitamin
A
and
the
Bromo
fizz,
But
the
medicine
never
get's
anywhere
near
where
the
trouble
is.
If
she's
getting
a
kind
of
a
name
for
herself,
and
the
name
ain't
his,
A
person
can
develop
a
cough.
And
furthermore,
Just
from
stalling
and
stalling
and
stalling
the
wedding
trip,
A
person
can
develop
La
Grippe.
When
they
get
on
that
train
to
Niagra,
she
can
hear
the
churchbells
chime.
The
compartment
is
air
conditioned
and
the
mood
sublime.
Then
they
get
off
at
Saratoga
for
the
fourteenth
time,
A
person
can
develop
La
Grippe,
La
Grippe,
La
post-nasal
drip,
With
the
wheezes,
and
the
sneezes,
and
the
sinuses
really
a
pip!
From
a
lack
of
community
property
and
a
feeling
she's
getting
to
old,
A
person
can
develop
a
big
bad
cold.
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