Lyrics wishful thinking - Lil Salem

I don't understand this
Deep breaths, deep thoughts, deep cuts
I'm lost, I can never give it up, what the fuck?
No friends to drop me off
Stuck here sitting at a party
Crying alone with nobody answering
I swear we never parted
I can still feel the way her eyes would meet mine
In a timeline where everything's right
I feel the fright knowing nothing lasts forever
And the love of my life's gone, whatever

I guess it couldn't really be, I'm only 17
But I saw a life ahead of me
A life with her touring and snoring just right next to her
And now the weather's changing like it's September
But still I would kill to have it all back
I miss her little brother and her mother
When I'd sit on the couch, I had it sorted out but
I guess I should've doubted

This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking

This all was only wishful thinking
This all was only wishful thinking