Lyrics Calligraphy - Noveliss

I don't want to dance slow in the rain
But I fall below the heavens with Blu playing
I'm through saying I'm through slaying these beats to make ends meet
I'm in deep, see
Dreams bought the car but don't pay the fees, the monthlys
I'm checkin' mics word to "3 Thou", you check to check
But if I fail to create and make heads nod, we neck to neck
Nevertheless my poetry's deep I never waiver
Even at a loss for words, I always find them on the paper
In search of myself, I get lost out in the nature,
Too used to putting others before me the new danger
Family first, slayin' verses I get over focused
I worked too many hours this week,
Which takes away from me releasing these ideas in my head
I get overloaded
Weary of moving to certain neighborhoods 'cause of the chosen POTUS
It's how I find myself, in the rhyme chamber
My mind in danger the rise of this blind anger Im lost
A cesspool of underachieving and working jobs
And I'm tryna' keep the poison out my relationship
They cleansing our cities by gentrifying the areas we never made it in
They harvesting our pavement
Concrete plantations and the only way you
Can hope to make it is work the grave shift
And I can't even manifest myself on my friends playlist
Cuz' they don't wanna play this
I roam through headphones in search of a place to stay niche
No shade, never shared a seat on the bus
In college on the way home from road games
Sometimes I think I run from myself, it's such a close race
Sometimes I think I run from myself, it's such a close race

How can I find myself when I can't find you?
So I drop this rhymin' in honor of your design in my life
When we meet again we'll share these vibes, nothing's changed
We'll rock hoodies and sweats just in the sky
This verse is dedicated to my brother,
In loving memory of BT, word to mother...
If you could see all the people you brung together
In this tragedy then you would see your spirit lives on
That's immortality, dig it
My heart was broken but the wound was still open cuz' I
Had lost my best friend to a bullet without the closure
Its too hard to be sober I'm broken beyond repair why they take ya?
Feel like I, failed you as a friend
I couldn't save ya
Even though we took two different roads it didn't change
Us, and our sons will maintain the connection that we created
Shit I never learned to grieve I tried writing but the times changed
I hope my girl don't smell this liquor
On my breath, I got twisted in the driveway
For the first time I twist the Bombay
It said "Dry Gin" and I was tryna' dry tears
Never much of a drinker them tears used as a
Chaser I was racing down memory lane intoxicated
Reminiscent of the hoodies in the winter staying chill
When I was broke man you bought me a coat, shit was real
It was me, you, Ken and Chris, we was all in
Falling asleep in the same clothes we played the ball in
Life was so simple before we found our true callings
You were taylor made for the streets and I went to college
Remembering "Paid in Full" in 10 years we didn't
Have matching Benzs because our plates were full but
Now your son gonna' know the true legacy of my friend
The best shooter in the gym and a father who loved his kid