Lyrics Funny Honey - John C. Reilly , Renée Zellweger

For her first number, Mrs. Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion, dedicated to her dear husband, Amos.
Sometime's I'm right
Sometime's I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Sometime's I'm down
Sometime's I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He love me so
That funny honey of mine
He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
And Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts
But look at that soul
I tell you, the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey
Hubby of mine
I mean supposin', just supposin', he had violated
Her or somethin'...you know what I mean...
Viloated?
I know what you mean...
...or somethin'. Think how terrible that would have been.
It's a good thing I came home from work on time, I'm tellin' ya that! I say I'm tellin' ya that!
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Name of deceased... Fred Casely.
Fred Casely. How could he be a burglar?
My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture!
He gave us 10 percent off
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
You told me he was a burglar!
You mean he was dead when you got home?
She had him covered with a sheet and she's tellin'
Me that cock and bull story abou this burglar, and how I ought to say I did it 'cause I was sure to get off. "Help me, Amos" she says it's my goddamn hour of needs.
Now, he shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap
Look at him go
Rattin' on me
With just one more brain
What a half-wit he'd be
If they string me up
I'll know who
Brought the twine
That scummy, crummy
Dummy hubby of mine!
And I believed her!
That cheap little tramp.
So, she's two-timing me, huh?
Well I'm through for protecting her now,
She can swing for all I care.
Boy, I'm down at the garage,
Working my butt off fourteen hours a day
And she's up mucnhin' on bon bons
And tramping around like some goddamn floozy.
Thought you could pull a war by
I wasn't born yet
I tell you there's something a man just can't take
This time she pushed me too far.
That little chiseler.
Boy, what a sap I was!