Lyrics E - Rico

Lately I only feel alive on the stage
I'm reminiscing 'bout the roles that I played
Whether I sing I act or just entertain
Feeling at home when I can hide my face
I don't know if they gon feel me
Inside my brain it's kinda filthy
Had trouble trusting what's the real me
Lying to myself convincing me that I am still me
Isolation be the death of me
I sit in my room alone wondering who my real friends'll be
All this anxiety got me going to 5 AM from 3
And don't tell me to fix it cause you never knew the remedy
I sit here wasting time until I see the sun is rising
Look outside my window thinking how I'm slowly dying
People telling me that they see how far I'll be flying
I ain't work for months so I'm wondering if they're lying

I look up and see the birds in the sky
Wondering how good it would feel to fly
Away from things I remember that weigh me down
Man I can't wait to get out of this stupid town
In a couple months I'm going on adventures
To take me places the doubters will never get to
Still the expectations always give me pressure
I go away but still feel the need to impress

Everybody tried to tell me get a routine
But my lil broken ass don't even know what that means
Got so many things to do but I'm just staring at screens
Yelling Rico be productive and ignoring those screams
I can barely get myself together to make music
I know I say I'm great but I'll tell you here that the truth is
Writer's block making me think if I am meant to do this
I get love but imposter syndrome making me feel useless
I know I'm meant to be an artist
And I can be the greatest my sights are set at the target
But I know that talent isn't enough to be the largest
And I'm thinking I work hard but now I'm not working the hardest
Constantly struggling mentally
I start to wonder if happiness is something that's meant for me
Talk to God and wonder how did I get so resentful G
I'm seeing red but I feel blue described as this essentially

I look up and see the birds in the sky
Wondering how good it would feel to fly
Away from things I remember that weigh me down
Man I can't wait to get out of this stupid town
In a couple months I'm going on adventures
To take me places the doubters will never get to
Still the expectations always give me pressure
I go away but still feel the need to impress

Feeling down again
It's like I'm at the end
I realize now and then
If Imma die I'll do it seeing red