Lyrics S.O.S. - Rittz

I don′t even know if I'm here anymore
Like my body′s here, but my spirit disappeared
I wish I could retrace my steps and
Place where I went wrong (Please help me)
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone
Put me out my misery

All my life [?] drug addict would survive
Never see 35, call me Jesus Blanco
Put a crown on it,
Drink up all the Crown Royal and the Grey Goose Vodka
You know you hate life when you pray
That you faint and remain unconscious
But you can't get thе job done
Put a shotgun barrel to your face, what causеd this?
It's my fault, it′s always been that way,
Since I was a kid, I always been a fuck up
Eavesdropping on my parents tryna to discuss what
They could do to me, ass whoopings haven′t done much
Felt like God was a man with a giant ass dick,
So I'm prayin′ that I stop gettin' butt fucked
But I′m sayin' something different out loud,
Really thinkin′ he might punish me for sayin' all this fucked up
Thought I would grow up one day and show up
"Mom and dad, look, I'm not the loser you knew"
Got a deal when I turned 32,
But they still feel embarrassed for the music I do
How I talk, how I dress,
How they thought my success would be
Gone in a second, I′d screw it up too
Wishin′ they never would've said that shit (You′re right)
'Cause everything they assumed is comin′ true
There were times when I blew all the money and of
Course I could save, but I knew there was more to be made
Makin' sure that I take care of my homeboys in a
Hole, they were broke from the choices that they made
By now I should have like 400k in the
Bank, ′cause I'm free from my contract
But the money that I got to start a company was fronted,
Didn't cover my recovery, I′m about to fail a drug test, fuck this

I wish I could retrace my steps and place where I went wrong
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone

Put me out my misery
Sick of suffering
Feel like everyone I love has had enough of me
Put me out my misery
Sick of suffering
I′m ashamed 'cause who I am ain′t who I wanna be

As a couple me and my lady lay in the covers, nothin' excites us
We used to look forward to eatin′
Gourmet foods, stick a fork in the pie crust
Goin' to a shrink [?
] But he thinks I have been
Experimentin′ on the drugs he prescribed us
I ain't feelin' great, disappear I may,
Feel like someone put a deep incision in
My brain, puttin′ knives in my eye balls
Right, get a eye shut, tryna move but I′m stuck
I done got so lazy, I don't bath, I just wipe up
I throw my phone, mine′s on vibrate,
Don't wanna know how normal everyone is, I′m not
Wanna hop inside a ride and find a cliff to drive off
My car probably flip and hit a pine tree
Break the fall, paralyze me instead of dying
I will be alive still, kinda luck I got
"What's up, you′re my guy, why you're so unhappy?"
One, I see a mirror, hate the person lookin' at me
Two, I hate my life, it′s even worse than bein′ addict
Three, I hold a grudge, I bet the Lord above is laughing
'Cause I made it rappin′ after 20 years when nobody
Cares about your music and I'm sick of postin′ hashtags
'Cause they don′t buy your album either,
Now you gotta talk to people,
Actin' like you're happy when you wanna take a trash bag
Put it on your head and hang a rope around a fixture
Still pissed I had to make my parents post a picture
In the living room beside my brother and my sister
Maybe they ashamed of me, knowin′ that they kid sucked
And each day is a bitch just tryna stay sober
Nose gotta itch ′cause I sniffed drugs since '96
People think it′s a cinch tryna quit,
I would give my left nut just to get drunk
I should give up

I wish I could retrace my steps and place where I went wrong
I wish that you could save me, but I may be far too gone

Put me out my misery
I'm sick of suffering
I feel like everyone I love has had enough of me
Put me out my misery
I′m sick of suffering
I'm ashamed ′cause who I am ain't who I wanna be, ah