Lyrics I Hope - Rivilin

Cus I don't wanna be a lot
Don't wanna don't want her to take her spot
Yeah, she wants to see me, wants to be choosed
I don't feel anything, nothing for you

Drip from my nails and I stop
Freeze and I panic, I panic a lot
Bitch on my side she knows she's not the one
So we take some more pills and forget what we've done

Cus I hate everything you say
Hate how the, hate how the way we changed
As I'm looking at you, yeah the pain starts to breathe
Down in the anguish, my thoughts start to flee

Cus I hate everything I am
Hate how, hate how the way you stare
I know under the ocean the sky is so blue
Living in danger I'm losing to you

Watching a friend getting crushed
Bothered by pressure and feeling disgust
What is the point, what is a dream
Why do I chase all these feelings

Don't wanna be another letdown, you know that I am
I don't wanna let anyone in again
It's all my fault, I know that you're fine
I don't wanna waste any more of your time

Nothing to no one you know that it's true
Wake in a fog and the covers consume
There's no daylight inside here
I'm not coming out just to find im always used

The person that matters is always just you
Peeling my skin back to feel something new
I know I don't belong here
The pressures weighing down on my mind

Cus I don't feel alive anymore snap back and I wake on your floor
Can't tell what's fact from fiction I think I'm just losing my grip

Friends change up I just can't relate, overdosing on something that's fake
Every time I try to be myself I feel like they wanna take

Everything that I've built to be, lacerations build up and bleed
I thought the pain inside would stop but we both know that it never leaves

Should I stay if no one will care, we all know that life isn't fair
So I just bide my time inside this hell until my skin starts to tear

Yeah, starving myself on the daily and now you portray me
As someone whose joyful and happy, that's crazy
Don't want to save just salvage my throat
So some words can still come out so you can still cope

Put on a pedestal I don't deserve this
I'm just a scumbag who somehow just surfaced
Do you know I just write these songs as hope
I'm far from perfect I still just choke

On emotions, I can't get out
See the keys inside now snapped down
Seeing the ones that you love now just stop and just stare
Guess you realize now that no one will care

Im unstable, im unable
To open up and talk about it
Suicide tendencies coming at friends in the waves
Taking your hand now I'm stuck in a grave

Nothing more, nothing less
Left disgusted by my friends

What's the point when I'm gone
I just know I don't belong

Cus I don't feel alive anymore snap back and I wake on your floor
Can't tell what's fact from fiction I think I'm just losing my grip

Friends change up I just can't relate, overdosing on something that's fake
Every time I try to be myself I feel like they wanna take

Everything that I've built to be, lacerations build up and bleed
I thought the pain inside would stop but we both know that it never leaves

Should I stay if no one will care, we all know that life isn't fair
So I just bide my time inside this hell until my skin starts to tear