Lyrics Lose Control - SAAVY

I apologize to everyone that I hurt in my past
And my present too
Cuz I know I got it bad
It's like my insecurities can get the best of me
From all the trauma and pain that my heart has seen
Every lover took a piece, then gone with the wind
My daddy started this cycle of my abandonment
Mama did her best
But showed no emotion
I'm just trying to figure it out
Going through these motions
You ever hear the expression
Laugh to keep from crying
Well I smile on the outside
But inside, I'm just dying
Backsliding into sin
Like God aint pull me out of
All because I let my flesh overrun my armor
Then once again, I'm falling backwards
In more drama
All the while, I hate arguing
It's overwhelming
Then I get angry
Take offense
And get more cold
When we push the wrong buttons inside each other's souls
That was my experience in love
A cycle again
Even with my own sister and some of my closest friends
So COVID-19 happened
I cut some people off
When we could've just communicated what we both thought
You know what I'm saying?
Like
I just don't want my life to just crash and burn
I don't want to be going nowhere fast
You know what I'm saying?
I always want God to use me
Use me Lord as a willing vessel
But I can't do that if I don't be fully submitted
I don't want to lose myself Lord