Lyrics u don't even exist - SalientSongs

I always fill myself with lies
It's the only way I get by
I rip my heart out just to spite
And smoke my lungs out, no I'm not alright

I've been healing, but I've been lonely
I need you, yeah, you to hold me
But you don't even exist
I'll take a right at the next exit

Going fast, I hope I crash
I'm trying not to think like that
But it's been years of feeling bad
Can you blame me? That's all I ask

I've been trying to heal and lately feeling like the only one
I've been trying to make it, baby, can you be my overdose
You don't even exist, though, I'm trying to fake it, so
Every time I look at my heart, I see it's vacant, though

I stay cautious, don't take risks
Maybe that's why I'm still this
And I'm still pissed that I'm not that
That's just something I can't pass

I'm only here for a moment, see a flash and then you're gone
Gotta make this last, get rid of my past, I say it's done
It's a war we had to fight, but no way we could've won
To the victor goes the spoils, staring down that smoking gun

Going fast, I hope I crash
I'm trying not to beg like that
But it's been years of feeling bad
Can you blame me? That's all I ask

I've been trying to heal and lately feeling like the only one
I've been trying to make it, baby, can you be my overdose
You don't even exist, though, I'm trying to fake it, so
Every time I look at my heart, I see it's vacant, though