Lyrics The Check! - Kristoffer Cusick , Blake Hammond

The check! The check!
Who's going to pay the check?
It's a mystery where everything's at stake
A guy, a girl
A black faux leather folder
A series of mistakes that you could make

Should a woman leave and "freshen up"

While he whips out his credit card?

Should they go dutch or not so much
Lest egos end up scraped and scarred?

It's all those crazy feminists
Who made this shit so friggin' hard

Hey, watch it!

I'd rather someone wring my neck
Than wonder who the hell is supposed to
Pay the check!