Lyrics Self Medicate - Shius

Day 23, there's no new marks on me
I do know one day that things will start to change for the better
Day 24, withdrawal symptoms be gone
Today I wrote another letter I will never send
If the kid saw me now, I wonder, would she would be proud
I am thriving on my own and there is life in me
There are doubts in my mind, and these scars on my arms
If I aim to redeem myself, I have to move on
I have to move on
I have to move on

Lived on my own, I'll die alone
Everyone has a death wish, and I can't atone
Try all I might, there's a weight on my shoulders
Cry all the time, I'll medicate when I'm older

Day 27, almost a month has passed
I think I'll reach my mark, there's still no scars on my arms
Day 28, I'll meet my therapist today
And If I still have time, I'll send these letters off
Day 29, and I still feel fine
I checked the news today, there was a little story
From a town I grew up in, from a college I dropped out
A man was found dead, hanging somewhere in the campus

Self medicate, to ease the pain
Self medicate, this chaos I can't take
Self medicate, when everything is destroyed
All these things that I feel, drown it down with a pill
This blinding pain that I feel
The only thing that's real

Lived on my own, I'll die alone
Everyone has a death wish, and I can't atone
Try all I might, there's a weight on my shoulders
Cry all the time, I'll medicate when I'm older

Day zero, I crashed and burned again
Resurfacing of my own trauma, the weight of the news
When I close my eyes, I can't escape that view
The man that died on that tree, he was someone that I knew
He was someone that I knew

(Get drunk, get high, try to forget the pain)
(Medication won't help you, erase the stain)

I can't move, I can't think
When the feelings hit, I feel myself begin to sink, I feel myself begin to sink
I can't feel, I can't see
If a God does exist, why does he want to punish me
To punish me

Lived on my own, I'll die alone
Everyone has a death wish, and I can't atone
Try all I might, there's a weight on my shoulders
Cry all the time, I'll medicate when I'm older
Lived on my own, I'll die alone
Everyone has a death wish, and I can't atone
Try all I might, there's a weight on my shoulders
Cry all the time, I'll medicate when I'm older

I need to find a way, I need to know somehow
When I uncover what happened, I'll take my final bow
I'll take my final bow